Asian Wedding Invitations

Frequently Asked Questions

1. QUESTION:
   were can i go to get asian wedding invitation cards made and printed in Birmingham UK?

   • ANSWER:
     If you go to Gadds Cakes website (www.gadds-cakes.co.uk/) Not only do they do Asian Wedding cakes but there is a lady there that hand makes invitations, name place cards, favours and everything else all in the exact theme you want. They are not the cheapest but definitely the best and they are based in Dudley.

     Good Luck

2. QUESTION:
   Unusual Dream’s last night ? Asian Wedding & Clairvoyant !?
   Last night i had 2 dreams, the first one, i visited a Clairvoyant and she read my cards, she mentioned Butterflies ? and that my mum was always with me . I then felt like she had Hypnotised me and i was in bed, asleep, but i could feel my mum’s presence leaning over me, i woke up with a start !
   My 2nd dream, i was wearing an Asian Sari, i was cooking, and was going to be married, and i wasnt sure wether to go through with it, and kept recieving Gifts from his parents, lots and lots of expensive gifts ?
   I was speaking to his Grandmother, and she kept saying, the Wedding invitations are Mr & Mrs ? but didnt hear the surname, and she said are your parents coming ? and i wasnt sure, really strange !
   I’m not Asian , which is more strange !
   Can anyone please interpret either of my dreams please ?

   • ANSWER:
     Yep that is wierd lol

3. QUESTION:
   shall i put my dads name on the wedding invitation?
   basically my brother is getting married in a few months. And i have been made in charge of getting the invites printed. I belong to an family and my mum has brought us up on her own! my dad went abroad and re married and has not returned to the uk since 12 years. I was 12 or 13 at the time and i have 3 other younger siblings. My dad has not ever paid us any maintenance, or anything towards our up bringing. My mum worked very hard to bring us up. In asian wedding invitations you usually put your parents names, they are the people that invite guests. However my mums paying for the wedding which is about 20 thousand pounds. I feel it should be my mothers name on the invites as she is the one whom has brought us up and the one thats paying for the wedding. I made invites with my mums name on the top but my dads sister said you should have your dads name on the top. I know to some this may seem petty but its quite a big deal to me. My brother phoned my dad and told him he`s getting married. My dad turned around and said give me 500 pound for the ticket and i`ll come to your wedding. I thought that was disgraceful.

   I would like to know what you all think.

   regards

   • ANSWER:
     I had a very similar situation. My father is alive, but might as well be dead to me after all he’s done (and not done). My mother’s name was put on the invite, but his was not. No one questioned it.

     I think you should ask your brother this question. It’s his wedding, so it’s his decision, not your aunt’s.

4. QUESTION:
   Series name for wedding invitations?
   I am trying to start a wedding invitation business. So far I have “love letter” “simply elegant” “asian sensation” “down to earth” “forever young” for my series. Are there any other names you can come up with? Let me know what type/theme of invitations you guys like too to give me some ideas ^^

   • ANSWER:
     A midsummers night
     paris in the spring
     Bedazzle
     Black tie
     Romeo &juliet
     Silver lace
     Winter wonderland
     Unforgettable
     chic
     blush
     butterfly
     Radiance
     oh&something country/western lol

5. QUESTION:
   Chinese/Asian Theme Wedding?
   My fiance and I want to have an asian/zen wedding theme. i am looking for good websites with cute ideas for favors, place cards, place card holders, invitations, decor etc… any help would be appreciated :O)

   • ANSWER:
     I run a wedding related business here in Singapore (South East Asia) and the theme – Zen was very popular quite a while ago.

     Follow the link below to a local forum site where brides and wedding vendors talk about their own big day and you might find some discussions about making a chinese and zen style wedding.

     By the way, a big congrats!

6. QUESTION:
   How do I ask my Asian in-laws to not bring cameras to the wedding?
   I am getting married and have a problem because my in-laws are Asian and they stay true to stereotype. The entire family, distant relatives included, take incredible amounts pictures. It drives me crazy! They even take flash pictures at funerals…I was so shocked when this happened. I just went to my future brother in-laws wedding and the same madness happened. They were setting up cameras in the aisle (two people stood in front of the bride as she walked down the center to take pictures all in her face), getting up (nearly to the alter), getting in the way of the professional photographer, and using bright flashes with loud clicks. It was absurd and really ruined the wedding. I know that the same thing will happen at my wedding but I’m trying to think of ways to keep them from taking pictures. I asked my fiance if we could just include a note in the invitations asking the guests to refrain from bringing cameras but he said that doing this would offend his ENTIRE family. Please help me!!! I really don’t want my wedding to be ruined by people being rude.

   • ANSWER:
     Speak to your Priest/Minister as many also find this detracts from the occasion and forbid picture taking during the ceremony.

     I have been to many weddings where, the Priest announced “Please turn off all cell phones and NO pictures/video during the ceremony, except for the official Photographer. After the ceremony, you will be given the chance to take all the pictures you like”.

     If your Priest is willing, It actually works quite well as everyone can simply sit back and enjoy and then get great shots after ward because the ‘target shots’ are staged and everyone is free to move around so people don’t end up with the…back of the heads, someone’s head in the way, one of the bridal party not looking, etc. which always happens during candid shots.

     It also doesn’t take long if it is planned out well beforehand and designate someone (bossy) as ‘choreographer’ which the best wedding I’ve been to did…..an elderly aunt had us moving!

     She called out “Bridal attendants/Bride & Dad, get into position at the doors….Start”…..and the guests got their pics of them coming down aisle
     2) MOG/MOB being seated
     3) Bride greeting Groom
     4) B&G with Priest
     5) B&G Exchanging rings, lighting Unity candle, signing register
     etc.

     As mentioned, the Aunt keep things moving right along giving directions so the ones being photographed knew where they were supposed to be and as a guest, I got the best pictures I’ve ever taken at a wedding!

     Congratulations and Good Luck

7. QUESTION:
   Who has been to Asian weddings?
   I am getting married to a Vietnamese guy, and I hear that usually the guests arrive anywhere from an hour to 2 hours late for the reception. I want to print to invitations- 5:00 for the Vietnamese side, and 6:00 for the American side in hopes that we start everything around 6:30. Do you think that will work?

   Also, should we order some or’ dourvs (like eggrolls) for guests that actually show up on time? I don’t want them waiting around starving.

   Typically in a Vietnamese wedding, they don’t do the bouquet toss or garter. But we want to do that at our wedding. A lot of the older guests leave RIGHT after the cake, so should we do the toss before or after we cut the cake?

   Any other suggestions/things I should know about a Vietnamese/Asian wedding? My family is part Japanese, but the culture and traditions for weddings is way different than Vietnamese and Chinese culture and traditions.

   • ANSWER:
     I am Viet and have been to numerous Viet weddings and it is true that Viet time is an hour or two later that regular time. For instance if your supposed to be at a Viet person’s house to dinner at the exact time that they say, then chances are the food is not ready and you will be left waiting for some time.

     All of the weddings I have gone to have had bouquet and garter tosses in addition to some weddings games. Its really your choice as to whether you want to do it before or after the cake though I think that it is usually reserved for after the cake when everyone is ready to let loose and dance. The older people will probably leave after the cake cutting but usually don’t eat the cake and also only after their table is greeted by the bride/groom. At all the weddings I have gone to the bride and groom have to go to each table to personally thank their guests for attending. Also in Vietnamese tradition it is the groom’s side that is responsible for wedding expenses. It is also customary for the bride to change dresses 2+ times throughout the reception( one being the traditional Vietnamese dress called an Ao Dai[red], the american white wedding dress, and possibly another wedding dress-like gown but of a different color). And there is almost always a Vietnamese band and karaoke. Also Vietnamese weddings most of the Vietnamese guests will almost always give money instead of gifts which usually helps the couple pay for the reception venue, etc.

     Food is a MAJOR thing too in our culture. My cousin is currently planning his wedding and he just wants a small intimate affair but his traditional parents refuse to because they believe that if they have it any other place than a restaurant or banquet hall then guests will think the family is cheap. Also it is also customary to have about a 10 course meal at least(1st course: cold meat plate, 2nd course: sharkfin soup. 3rd: pekking duck, 4th: walnut shrimp…and so on the last being dessert. Not each person has a plate of these foods, each table gets a plate or two and each person eats what they want) Anything less is usually considered cheap though I don’t know why.

     Also if you are planning on doing the traditional “wedding”, where the grooms family has to bring “gifts” to the brides family and then “sweep” the bride back to the grooms house for the ceremony then well thats alot more work. What I personally suggest is to blend your cultures. My fiance is caucasian and so the wedding will be a traditional american wedding and then our reception will be more Asian. Goodluck let me know if you need any more info!

8. QUESTION:
   What do you think about these invitations?
   Our wedding colors will be white, black, and red. I am hoping to find inexpensive invites because I can not justify spending 0+ on paper that will probably be thrown away anyways. I found these on costcos website…

   http://pal.einvite.com/product/Wedding/WeddingInvitations/FloralAccents/WSP-ABE-UPALENS/?Cobrand=PAL&Site=PAL&vk=1777211146

   http://pal.einvite.com/product/Wedding/WeddingInvitations/FloralAccents/WSP-GHX-ZPALENS/?Cobrand=PAL&Site=PAL&vk=1777211146

   Also, we are thinking of doing an asian inspired theme… Do you know of any other wholesale wedding invitation sites or companies?

   • ANSWER:
     i really like the second ones with the tree. i like the first one, but the second is very pretty. congrats and good luck

9. QUESTION:
   Invitation template in Asian style?
   I am looking for a DIY template for a Asian themed wedding. Any places, websites i can get one?

   • ANSWER:
     There is a great invitation set at target right now that is pink cherry blossoms which is definitely Asian in theme.
     here’s the link to the thank yous:

     http://www.target.com/gp/search/601-3395962-3858509?field-keywords=cherry+blossom+invitations&url=index%3Dtarget&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=0&y=0

     You can get the invitations too at any store, and the website may have them, they just may be out of stock.

     good luck!

10. QUESTION:
    Muslim Wedding Etiquette?
    I am honoured to have just received a wedding invitation from a Bangladeshi Muslim colleague. I have every intention of going, but I obviously do not wish to inadvertently cause offence (I’m white C of E).

    Can anyone let me know what to expect from the Ceremony itself…advise me on what to wear, including appropriate head covering… what are appropriate gifts, and if money then how much?

    The Bride herself has far too much to do at the moment to bother her with such questions, and my other Asian friends are either Hindu or from different provinces/countries… so I am hoping someone on here can help

    Thanks in advance!
    Thanks King Aqua … a subdued trouser suit, with something bright in the headscarf/shawl line should be fine then?

    What about gifts?
    Thanks Xlnc

    II know that the Bride’s Father and his family are quite conservative, which is why I have decided on trousers (much easier to avoid any inadvertent skin showing!)… I’m now thinking of a rather elegant, sleeved tunic style top, probably in gold with black embroidery and beadwork and a matching scarf …

    I’m in the UK and lucky enough to live in a very cosmopolitan town so I can get one of the local tailors to make the top for me in time for the wedding and do the beadwork myself (it is only 3 weeks away). gold and black slippers should be easy to find here too

    I think I’ve decided on a very nice polished granite pestle and mortar for the gift … practical for grinding herbs (I know R has been properly trained by her Mum to cook!), and also an attractive item if she wishes to use it just for display.

    Thank you both so much for taking time to help me out on this – I really appreciate it!

    • ANSWER:
      look,, its more culturally than religiously when it comes to weddings, so just dress up formally and no need to wear any head cover or anything cuz ur not bangali. u should know that muslims usually separate men and women in weddings, but not all the times. so just go there be natural and if ur a female, u can put an elegant scarf on ur head, if u dont desier then dont… and thats it. im not bangali but im muslim, and never mind any other costumes cuz those are all traditional bangali, not islamic…
      have fun and if u need any other specific info feel free to email me

      ur right, that outfit would be great.. and for the gifts thing just use ur thoughts and tatse ( which actually seems to be so elegant cuz ur asking these questions that show ur high politness level ) any way, for the gift thing again, as i said just go with ur chioce and be sure its not a bottle of fine wine or sumthin.( cuz in islam people are prohibited to drink alcoholic drinks ) and thats it…
      have the best time and tell me how it was ??

11. QUESTION:
    Need help on invitation wording in regards to kids.?
    My fiance and I are trying to figure out how to word the wedding invitations in regards to kids. We, ourselves, are footing the bill for the wedding. We are having an evening wedding summer of 2010 at 7PM. The reception is going to be held at the same place that the ceremony is taking place. There is going to be an open bar that is being provided.

    Now, here’s the issue. My fiance and I love kids. We plan on having at least 3 oneday. Well, he actually wants 6, but that is another issue. Hehehe. Anyways, There are a lot of people that are going to be invited: probably around the 350-400 range. We want to have kids at our wedding, but we didn’t want anybody under the age of 13 to attend. This is for various reasons. My main concern was because it’s going to be an open bar even, we KNOW how our friends are going to act once they start drinking. I just didn’t think that it would be appropriate to have very young kids be around that type of behavior. As I’ve said, we love kids, but we don’t want to watch out how we or or friends act around very young kids. We want to have fun and party at the reception.

    I was wondering how can I word it on the reception card that we’re requesting kids under the age of 13 please not attend. I know about the putting names on the inside envelope usually indicate whose invited, but it DOES NOT work like that in asian cultures. When you send an invitation to an asian household, it’s usually for the whole family, regardless if their names are on the envelope or not. This is why I want to BE SPECIFIC on what we would like on the reception card. Any help would be much appreciated.
    Would this sound appropriate? “Because of the nature of the celebration, we would greatly appreciate only children 13 years of age and older attend.”

    • ANSWER:
      When it comes to the line on the invitation where the reception is mentioned, just have it say something like: Adults only reception immediately following at…..
      Saying something about “the nature of the reception” makes it sound like it’s going to be really strange.

12. QUESTION:
    i’m engaged! now, how do i start planning my wedding?
    My boyfriend is white, and I’m Asian (very small ethnic group). We’ve been together for over two years now. We’ve decided that because many of my relatives don’t approve of our relationship, having a traditional wedding like my sisters did would not go well because no one would help “negotiate” on my part. And because my boyfriend is white, he does not belong to a clan and no one would “negotiate” on his part.

    We’ve decided to have a small, Catholic (I was raised Catholic) wedding. My guess is even if I send out the invitations to my relatives, only my immediate family would come. If I’m lucky, my parents will make it too.

    I’m under a lot of stress because my side does not want anything to do with my wedding, which makes me really sad. I’ve spent the first few weeks of my engagment crying, and honestly, I’m tired of it. And I’ve just decided that I’m going to plan this wedding how I want it to be, whether my relatives (and my parents) want anything to do with it. My brother said if my dad refuses to walk me down the aisle, he would do it.

    I’m not familiar with the American wedding at all, and I’ve never been to one. I looked online and it seems like everyone has a different American wedding and checklist. Can someone simplify it for me? Are there any helpful sites, that explains everything from buying the ring (my culture doesn’t have rings) to reception and music?

    (My boyfriend and I are also on a tight budget)

    • ANSWER:
      Brides.com has some really good things to help you plan. It is what I am using to plan my catholic wedding. Just look around and get ideas. You can also try TheKnot.com

      Here is an article I think you will find helpful.

      http://www.brides.com/planning/ceremonies_traditions/feature/article/113946/

13. QUESTION:
    Gifts or cash for wedding gift? Is it VERY rude to ask for cash?
    My boy friend and I has been living together for a while. We got everything that we want such as TV, AC, Wii, everything in kitchen, bathroom, living etc. The only thing that we do not have is a house, and I have been saving tons of money to become a house owner and move out from our small apartment. We will be paying our wedding bills together. I would rather ask for cash so that new gifts is not going to overwhelm our tiny apartment, and we are literary running out of space, but my boy friend think it is rude to ask for cash. I found some poem online here, and think that I can use this. Do you think is too rude?
    “We are sending out this invitation,
    And hope you will join our celebration.
    If to send a gift is your intention,
    In modesty we would like to mention,
    We have already got a kettle and a toaster,
    Crockery, dinner mats and coasters,
    So rather than something we have already got,
    Please give us money for our saving pot.
    But, most importantly, we request,
    That you turn up as our wedding guest”
    I am Asian and he is Caucasian, and it is totally normal/ understood that new couples should get cash for their wedding in my cultural. I also think that it is convenient for my guests just to slip some cash into nice envelope with card instead of running to store to buy gifts and wrap them.
    Please help! I am very sad about the situation now.
    I got some advice online that even the poem itself is very rude and low-class. I just found this website:

    http://www.myregistry.com/default.aspx

    This website allowed me to have cash as wedding gift, I decide to name “my cash gifts” as “Down payment for a house in future”, and my guests can pay money by credit card and buy a gift too, because my boy friend is going to register some gift online. What you think about this solution?
    Hi Kimmy
    I agree with you. In my cultural, it is very rude if we go to people’s wedding and doesn’t bring a red envelop with cash in it. In fact, I talk to my boy friend, how about no registry at all, and tell everyone don’t buy anything for us. But he said this is not a good solution either because people will think you want cash and you are very rude! Sigh!
    I would like to have my guests to come to my wedding just because I want them here. I am totally cool if they bring no cash or no gift. In my opinion, if it is rude to ask for money, why is it OK to ask for gifts and having gift registry? That also means I no need to registry at any places. But remember that you told you that my boy friend said if I do not registry, people will think I want cash and they will think it is rude. Also, if I do not registry at any place, they will still buy “SOMETHING”, and even worst, because I might really no need or want that “SOMETHING” that randomly bought by them!

    • ANSWER:
      yes its very fucking rude, get what your given dont whinge

14. QUESTION:
    Wedding guestsssss…?
    I am an asian. I left my country to work aboard for years. We plan to have the beach wedding in my country but when people who know us, know that the wedding is in 5 stars hotel. They plan to bring their whole family, friends, friends of friends to our wedding.

    We deny and said we won’t send them an invitation card for any extened friends & family who we won’t invite to the wedding. I thought it would be o.k. because the hotel will charge as per person to come in but today I got the phone from my bridemaid that people will bring in lots of people anyway and walk in to the wedding (something like who cares).

    We feel sad that they don’t want to come to our wedding but just want to see the place and we want a touchy wedding just our close family & friends.

    How should I deal with this problem? I talked to them already but most of them thought it’s o.k. just a few more people but everyone will bring “a few more people” How many people will it be…

    • ANSWER:
      If you are in a hotel, there is an easy solution. You tell the hotel event planner that you are working with that you need to make sure everyone who attends the wedding and reception are invited guests and not people who just happen to be on vacation with your guests. Explain the situation.

      Have a person at the door, asking for names of each individual. You provide a list of invited guests. If the person’s name is not on the list, the hotel employee at the door simply says, “I’m sorry. We are only allowed to admit invited guests.”

      Tell them there are no exceptions. It can work!

      EDIT: Also, it would be acceptable to include a card in the invitation that says, “Our ceremony and reception will be intimate, and only invited guests will be admitted by hotel staff. Thank you for understanding.”

15. QUESTION:
    How could this be acceptable in Asian culture? Or any culture at all?
    I’m surprised that I’m actually more hurt than I thought I would be. My fiance and I have been together for a year. Marriage plans have been discussed although no wedding date is fixed yet; as a matter of fact I’m still considering getting a scholarship to do 1-2 years of postgraduate studies abroad prior to marriage so that I have a chance to fulfill my potential and pick up life skills that will be essential for the survival of our marriage. We’ve been good friends for 7 years and I know that this is the man I want to share my life with till we grow old. Family-wise, my fiance and I have been around each other’s parents for almost as long as we’ve been a couple. My parents love my fiance and my fiance loves them; I love his parents and his parents love me.

    My parents thought that my 25th birthday would be the perfect opportunity to invite his family for dinner to get properly introduced.

    Before this, only my his mom got introduced to my mom, but this wasn’t planned. His mom needed a ride when my fiance and I had an appointment with my parents, so since it was in the same direction and the car is mine, I insisted that she come with us to where we were supposed to be. Even so, she didn’t leave the car, so my mom took the initiative to come greet her.

    Anyway, I just found out this afternoon that my fiance’s parents are not coming to dinner. Although I had a feeling that it would have turned out this way, I strangely feel really hurt that they’re not coming. What did we do wrong? Was it dumb of us to invite them in the first place? Should we, as the female’s family, have waited for the male’s family to take the initiative? Or are we simply not worth freeing a Saturday night for over what we think would be a nice dinner in town?

    The fact that my mom feels insulted isn’t helping. Isn’t it a given that when you’re invited to dinner you’re supposed to come; and when you don’t, it’s a sign that you don’t want to have anything to do with the person who invited you? And since they’re rejecting our invitation, at this moment I really can’t see how one day my fiance’s family would ever invite us over to finally get introduced; they rejected us, so why would they swallow their pride and do it back to us one day?

    My fiance is the most gentle and courteous man I’ve ever known, and treats me with the utmost respect; so it simply never occurred to me that his parents could be this rude to us. How could this be tolerated in Asian culture? What does this say about my future relationship with his family, and with him? I don’t want to hold grudges against my fiance’s parents, but a part of me strongly wants them to know that what they did was not OK; what can I do? When my fiance and I marry, what can I do so that issues like this don’t become hazardous to our relationship? Because I would really hate to have to criticize my spouse’s parents and make him feel as if he has to choose between his parents or his wife.

    For the sake of being specific, we are Indonesians.
    My fiance and I live with our own families, which is common practice here in Indonesia well into a person’s thirties and beyond (because starting salaries are seldom good enough to afford one’s own place). My fiance’s mother would have loved to come to dinner, but isn’t because her husband is unwilling. My fiance’s father refused to come for no reason, and my fiance has done everything he could to convince him to come.

    • ANSWER:
      Some cultures find it difficult to face other people before their kids are married. You did not say whether you are living with your fiance, or what reason his parents provided as an excuse for not attending the dinner invitation, so it is hard to provide you further insights to their behavior. The best thing is just to respect their decision, and go forward like nothing happened. You are going to marry their son, and they will be family, so it is important to keep things cordial. Best of luck with this situation, school, marriage and life.

16. QUESTION:
    ESSAY HELP!!!!!! Confucianism 8th grade essay good Help me on conclusion!?
    Confucianism
    What is Confucianism? A lot of people in the world ask this question. The answer to that question is that Confucianism is a religion based in Asia that was made before Christ’s birth. Confucianism is a religion that teaches you how you should live your life. All of the information was found on religioustolerance.org, and was written by B.A. Robinson. This essay will tell you all about Confucianism.
    The roots and history of Confucianism are based in a time very long ago. The religion of Confucianism started in the mid- 500′s before Christ’s birth. The religion started in the Asian city of China by a man named K’ung Fu Tzu, also known as Confucius. This religion is very closely related to the religion of Taoist in its social ethics and moral teachings. There are about six million Confucians living in the world. Around twenty-six thousand live in North America. Most of the rest of the six million live in China and the rest of Asia.
    The founder of this particular religion is named Confucius, which was stated earlier. This man was born in five hundred fifty one B.C. in the the state of Lu which is modern day Shantung Province. He lived during the Chou dynasty. As he grew older, he traveled through China and gave advice on how to live to rulers and many people. The last few years of Confucius’ life was spent in Lu where he taught students. He taught them of individual morality and ethics, and the proper exercise of political power by the rulers. Confucius finally died in 479 B.C. which was was found on calendarmine.com.
    There are six schools of Confucianism. These schools consist of Han Confucianism, Neo- Confucianism, Contemporary Neo-Confucianism, Korean Confucianism, Japanese Confucianism, and Singapore Confucianism.
    There are many rituals and rites of Confucianism. One of the many is that during birth, a special procedure is taken and is followed when the placenta is disposed of. Another ritual is of marriage which is done in six parts. In proposal, the couple exchanges the eight characters: the year, month, day, and hour of each of their births. If any events occur with the family that seem that the marriage is unlikely, the woman is believed to have rejected the proposal. The next part of marriage is the engagement. After the wedding day is chosen, the bride announces the wedding with invitations and a gift of cookies made in the shape of the moon. The third part is dowry. This is carried to the groom’s house in a serious procession. The money is then sent to the bride by the groom’s parents. Gifts by the groom to the bride, equal in value to the dowry, are sent to her. The fourth part is the procession. In this part, the groom visits the bride’s home and brings her back to his place, with a lot of commotion.
    The fifth part is of marriage and reception. In this, the couple recites their vows, toast each other with wine, and take center stage at a banquet. The last part of marriage is of the morning after. During this period, the bride serves breakfast to the groom’s parents.
    There are many celebrations and ceremonies celebrated in Confucianism. A lot of these ceremonies and celebrations consist of life passages. One of the ceremonies of these life passages is of reaching maturity. This life passage is no longer celebrated, except in traditional families. It takes the form of a group meal in which the young adult is served chicken. One other ceremony that takes place in Confucianism is during death. During this sad time, families mourn to let their neighbors know that they have lost someone special.
    The basic beliefs of Confucianism are based on six parts. Li, includes ritual, propriety, etiquette, and more. Hsiao, which consists of love within the family, Yi, which is righteousness, Xin which is honesty and trustworthiness, Chung, which is loyalty to the state, and Jen which is kindness and compassion towards others. Jen is the highest Confucian virtue. In the religion of Confucianism, there are no gods.
    The writings and scriptures on which the religion is based on is the sacred texts. The sacred texts consist of the Si Shu or Four Books and Wu Jing or Five Classics. The Shi Shu contains the books of Lun Yu, which is Analects of Confucius made by Confucius’s students, Chung Yung, the doctrine of the mean, Ta Hsueh, the great learning, and Meng Tzu, the writings of Meng Tzu. Meng Tzu was a philosopher who was comparable to Confucius in the way of how he traveled from state to state talking about the religion to rulers. The Wu Jing consisted of Shu Ching, Shih Ching, I Ching, Ch’un Ch’iu, and Li Ching. Shu Ching is the classic of history which is the writings and speeches from ancient Chinese rulers. Shih Ching is the Classic of Odes which is three hundred poems and songs. I Ching is the Classic of Changes which is the description of a divinatory system. Ch’un Ch’iu is the Spring and Autumn Annals. Li Ching is the Classic of Rites.

    • ANSWER:
      your prompt is What is Confucianism right? so first sentence, restate your thesis statement, and then just summarize what Confucianism is about and so on. The conclusion is the easiest part. Also most teachers don’t pay attention to the conclusion as much. They look at your thesis, and your body paragraphs.

17. QUESTION:
    How do i get them off of my case about it?
    so another college friend of mine just got married. when my parents found out about it they gave me an earful and none of it was pleasant to the ears. they’re very traditional folks, and they regard my lack of a marriage prospect as a disgrace. i’m 26 btw. the girl who just got married is a year younger than me and had only dated her hubby for a year and a half. i’ve been dating my bf for over three years now but i have no intention of marrying him any time soon given that i am still a student right now, and also that honestly, i don’t have high hopes for an interracial marriage (he’s white, i’m asian).

    now dont get me wrong, im crazy about my bf (i knew him from high school and had a crush on him ever since) but at times, i feel that my parents are more in love with this guy than i am, CONSTANTLY reminding me to hold on to him and saying cold and even nasty things about me (most of the time to my face!) whenever i feel like giving up on our relationship. once i told them maybe i don’t ever want to get married, they jeered at me and called me a failure, saying old folks their age should already be having grandkids. damn asians and their family values. i’m so f*cking sick of it all.

    i want to get the parents off of my back for good about my life and how THEY think i should live it. how do i do it without being rude to them? i’ve lost count how many times i’ve tried talking to them but it all ended with them showering my face with their spits and calling me young and stupid. i’m still a student right now and would like to focus on my career first (all of my sense of self-worth now depends on it!!!) but it’s hard to stay positive when these parents of mine manage to turn every wedding invitation that i receive from my friends into verbal abuses against me. it makes me so sad sometimes i just wish i can go to sleep one night and never wake up…..

    • ANSWER:
      um, just don’t talk to them? just tell them you got something to do when they start bringing up that topic. i’m 24 and i don’t let anyone in my family know a thing about any of my relationships because they’re like your parents too. my parents, siblings, aunts uncles etc believe that you should marry whoever you date and that marriage should not wait. their perception on marriage and dating are so different from my own view so i don’t even bother sharing that detail with them until i know that i will get married.

      you sound really frustrated and i can relate to that, but what i don’t understand is can’t you just keep your personal life to yourself instead of letting your family know about it?

      someone mentioned “tell your parents that they will have to accept you for who you are”…….. please…… asian parents don’t “accept”. they want you to do things their way, not your own. only white people’s parents “accept”. just tell them white lies that you’re not dating or seeing anyone, end of story and drama.

18. QUESTION:
    How to get them off of my case about it?
    so another college friend of mine just got married. when my parents found out about it they gave me an earful and none of it was pleasant to the ears. they’re very traditional folks, and they regard my lack of a marriage prospect as a disgrace. i’m 26 btw. the girl who just got married is a year younger than me and had only dated her hubby for a year and a half. i’ve been dating my bf for over three years now but i have no intention of marrying him any time soon given that i am still a student right now, and also that honestly, i don’t have high hopes for an interracial marriage (he’s white, i’m asian).

    now dont get me wrong, im crazy about my bf (i knew him from high school and had a crush on him ever since) but at times, i feel that my parents are more in love with this guy than i am, CONSTANTLY reminding me to hold on to him and saying cold and even nasty things about me (most of the time to my face!) whenever i feel like giving up on our relationship. once i told them maybe i don’t ever want to get married, they jeered at me and called me a failure, saying old folks their age should already be having grandkids. damn asians and their family values. i’m so f*cking sick of it all.

    i want to get the parents off of my back for good about my life and how THEY think i should live it. how do i do it without being rude to them? i’ve lost count how many times i’ve tried talking to them but it all ended with them showering my face with their spits and calling me young and stupid. i’m still a student right now and would like to focus on my career first (all of my sense of self-worth now depends on it!!!) but it’s hard to stay positive when these parents of mine manage to turn every wedding invitation that i receive from my friends into verbal abuses against me. it makes me so sad sometimes i just wish i can go to sleep one night and never wake up…..
    i moved to the states when i was a teenager, so i’ve enjoyed quite a few years of cultural-identity crisis before i started dating my current bf, who is also my first bf. i love him dearly and wish these three years wasn’t a complete waste, but right now i just don’t know. but i thank everyone here for their understanding and kind words – thank you so much for taking the time to answer my question!

    • ANSWER:
      I’m sorry too about all this stuff you’re going through. I think I understand your parents though. Like everyone, they probably feel that their culture and their generation is better than others. I’m sure they look around at the immoral things that most white Americans are doing, and the way they live, and they don’t want you to be like that. And I can’t blame them. It’s misguided, but they want you to be happy.

      But, you are your own person and the product of a different generation and culture and have to do what’s best for you. I’m 47 and still never been married and didn’t finish college, and I know that it’s hurt my parents, especially my mom, a lot. But I have to go the way that I think life is pulling me. I couldn’t have been married no matter how hard I tried, so I couldn’t have pleased them in that area.

      Just make sure to never make decisions out of spite, or just to irritate them. But still do what’s right for you. You only get one chance at this life, and you can’t let other people live their life through you. You’ll be too full of resentment if you do things because they want you to. So do that thing called “respectfully disagreeing”. I’ve had to learn how to do it!!!!

19. QUESTION:
    Planing FAKE wedding for homework?
    what time do weddings start?
    what kind of food do they do?
    activities?
    this is for my homework i have to make an invitation i don’t know what to do..
    this is for my spanish class so yea
    (super junior fans who sould i marry i have to put a name?)

    can you believe this my spanish teacher told the other classes that i was gonna marry an asian guy he is a freaken eardropper just cus i talk about super junior and so im mad, now everyone one thinks im a freak for sure, i dont like my teacher he hears to what your talking about and tells his other classes about other people’s problems and gossip

    • ANSWER:
      Afternoons and evenings
      Appetizers, salads, beef or chicken (some vegetarian plates) and cake
      Dancing, singing, toasting, drinking

      Google wedding invitations and almost all sites that pop have examples for you to look at. Good luck!

20. QUESTION:
    i don’t know what to do…?
    my wedding is in two months and my husband and I are not quite in agreement with sending out an invitation to my uncle, my only uncle.

    okay here’s the problem, im asian and my family is still very traditional. the man i am marrying is not asian he is black, now my parents have learned to accept that he’s not asian, and has actually become quite happy with my choice for a husband. now when we got engaged we had to do it my traditional way, im not going to go into details about it, but lets just say that i needed my uncle there to be a witness for our side of the family, and he refused. He told me that i was bring shame upon our family name by marrying a black man, that i am dishonoring my parents and him. he then proceeded to allow me a week to think about what a tremendous mistake i am making and break the engagement. when i proceeded to tell him that i am not making a mistake, that i am old enough to make my own decisions on who i am going to marry, and that he is the one i chose regardless of race, he then hangs up on me, and next thing i know his wife, my aunt is blowing up my phone interrogating me about who i am chosing to be my husband, and then like my uncle proceeds to tell me that im a disgrace to my family, etc…

    Now my wedding is in two months and i have been sending out invitations, my fiance and I both decided that we weren’t going to invite my uncle and aunt, but then my father asked me to put what happened behind me and invite them for the families’ sake…

    what he doesn’t see and hear is that ever since our engagement went through, my uncle is slowly showing signs that he might come to accept my choice of husband but my aunt has been thrashing me and my fiance’s name all around our cousins and relatives, it seems like every chance she gets she tries to make it seem like my choice of husband was the most horrible choice i have ever made and that my fiance is not a good man when in actuallity he is great, he’s a great contributor to our community, he’s a dedicated police officer who serves our community very well…on top of that he is great over all, he makes me a better person and makes me very happy, he is honest, caring, loving, trustworthy, warmhearted. I could go on and on…

    since my father asked me im torn between my husband not wanting to invite them and my father wanting me too. i have a feeling though that if i do invite them, my aunt will most likely start something and my uncle wont do anything to stop her since she is like the man in that household…

    I love and respect my father very much and since i’ve been 16 he’s been allowing me to be my own person, make my own decisions, and when i make a mistake, he doesn’t allow me to just forget it, he makes me realize my mistake and learn from it, he is a great father and doesn’t ask much of me, but this one thing is very important to him.

    so what do i do? im so confused and torn…
    we have already given them ample time to come to terms with this, our engagement was a three year one, and there has been other family celebrations where both my fiance and my aunt and uncles were there, but after my fiance’s attempt to settle the difference and they blew him off, he refuses to try and they haven’t either, i don’t want to invite them and go against my fiance’s wishes but i don’t want to not invite them and go against my father…i kinda feel like i should be on my fiance’s side since he will soon become my husband and our future together should start out with no problems, but then my father…im just soo torn…

    • ANSWER:
      I would reach a compromise. Invite them but tell your dad and the groomsmen to keep an eye on them, your aunt especially if she’s the most likely to start trouble. *If* they start trouble, being unruly or rude then the Best Man, your father and the venue co-ordinator ask them to leave and escourt them out. Tell your dad that this is the only way you’ll allow them to be invited and if he doesn’t agree to it then don’t invite them.

      Where this might get sticky is if your uncle hears about the conditions then it might get his hackles up and make things worse, but this is a decision you need to make based on your knowledge of your family.

      Maybe you’ll get lucky and they won’t want to attend :p

      Good luck with everything!

21. QUESTION:
    *Getting Married Oct 2010- Need Cherry Blossom Ideas?
    My fiance is asian, so we would like to have a Ameri-Asian style. *We would like to have the same theme from the wedding carry on to the reception. I would like to have baby pink, white and a rich chocolate brown, we would like cherry blossoms, for the reception. So.. we need ideas how to decorate with silk ones. Real ones are very fragile and would never make it through the entire reception ( 5 hours) so any ideas, or cake ideas.. even DIY is fine.. also invitations.. i have looked everywhere online it seems and cant find something that looks childish. *Please Help lol!

    • ANSWER:
      What country is he from? That might help people give you some ideas. Asia is very broad.

      My husband is Japanese. We got married in the US but wanted touches of cherry blossoms in the wedding. Our colors were pink and brown as well. I used cherry blossoms on our invitations, programs, cake, favor boxes, wish tree (instead of guest book). I did not attempt to use them for the table centrepieces or bouquets, as I wanted fresh flowers. Go over to the link below and you can see some of the items, I have posted a few pics. I have lots more pics so feel free to email me and Ill send you the link to that as well

      http://www.flickr.com/photos/38528542@N00/2505205971/

      There is so much you can do with cherry blossoms. Have fun planning!

22. QUESTION:
    does this sound like enough food?
    We are having a heavy Hors d’œuvres reception with beer, wine, soda and captain.
    The menu I have so far is as follows

    Asparagus & Spinach Mini Bread Bowls – 96 of these

    Jalapeno & Cheese Mini Bread Bowls – 96 of these

    Club Spirals- 60ish of these

    Turkey Spirals- 60ish of these

    Salami Spirals- 60ish of these

    Ham & Pineapple Skewers

    Surf & Turf Skewers

    Crab Cakes- 200 mini crab cakes

    Meat Balls – 5 lbs, can get another 5 lbs if needed

    Asian Wings- 10 lbs worth

    Chicken with ??? Skewers

    Fried ??? Ravioli – 100 of these

    Oh also having cheese, pepperoni and crackers with olives and pickle platter and a veggie platter with grapes and 2 dips for it.

    We are serving a wedding cake and 5 types of mini desserts
    Does this sound sufficient for 80-90 guests?

    It will be noted on the invitations that this is a cocktail and Hors d’œuvres reception. Time of ceremony is 5pm, reception to follow. I was planning to wait to put food out till closer to our arrival to the reception location.

    • ANSWER:
      I would totally say YES it does sound like more than enough food.

23. QUESTION:
    Did he not like me or was he just shy/nervous?
    Me and my fiance Aron are doing this thing where we get one chance to sleep with someone else before our wedding. Father John says it’s to relieve tension.

    This cute little asian twink came over on my invitation. When we were texting, it got kind of sexual. He asked if I played any instruments. He then said he wants to play my instrument. When he got to my apartment, we made small talk for a few minutes. When I tried to lure him to the bed, he said his friend texted him asking him to come over, so he left. I have him a hug before he left though and he said he’d keep in touch.

    • ANSWER:
      Asians can be horny Little guys but they also can be very shy and modest about getting naked in front of others. My guess is he chickened out on you and wanted to leave as he was to shy to go ahead with sex. Personally I think if he hasn’t given you his contact details you won’t see him again, and he is unlikely to contact you.

24. QUESTION:
    why are his parents hesitant about meeting mine?
    What I’m about to describe isn’t what it seems to a Western perspective, so answers from people who understand (Southeast) Asian culture only, please. We are Indonesians of partial Chinese descent (my father and his mother).

    My fiance and I have been going out for a year. Both his family and mine are aware that we are progressing towards marriage, although no wedding date has been picked yet. My parents love my fiance as if he’s a family member, and his parents love me the same way too. We feel so much at home with each other’s families.

    However, I’ve noticed that his parents have been hesitant about meeting mine. One day my fiance and I had to delay an appointment with my parents unplanned because his mother needed a ride. Since it was in the same direction as where we were meant to meet my parents, when she was done I insisted that she came with us. But she wouldn’t leave the car, so my mother took the initiative to come there and greet her, then gave permission to my fiance to drive her home first before joining us. (Apparently this is not rude according to Asian culture; my parents treated it as no problem and it seemed like I was the only one bothered about it).

    Today is my birthday, so in order to celebrate, my parents want to invite my fiance’s parents for dinner to get properly introduced to each other. Since we’re busy moving out, we’re taking them to a nice restaurant in town. When I asked my fiance whether he’s extended the invitation to his parents, he said his mother agreed but his father is hesitant, so they had to tell him the white lie that the restaurant has already been reserved and that a penalty will have to be paid if he fails to show up. My fiance hasn’t re-checked with his father since he last asked, so the RSVP isn’t fixed yet.

    Why are his parents acting this way? And why do Asians somehow consider this to be normal? Is my family being too aggressive by taking the initiative to get us introduced to each other? I mean, they’d eventually have to meet anyway, right? Why not now? If this is a problem, what can I do to ease the situation?

    In case this helps, my family is economically, academically, and socially better off than his. But that’s really just because my dad studied abroad, worked hard, and looked out for the best job opportunities when he was young; he started off worse off than where my fiance is today. The rest of my extended family are mostly in a similar socioeconomic condition as my fiance’s family. My fiance’s parents didn’t finish college, don’t speak English or any foreign language at all, but got to live in various European countries in the 1980′s-early 2000′s because my fiance’s dad worked for our country’s embassy: hence my fiance’s great education, and now career as a lawyer. I actually have a lot of respect for my fiance’s parents, how against all odds they did a great job in providing a better future for their (now adult) children. I’ve done my best to keep as humble and low profile as possible in his family. After all, it is my parents who are successful and wealthy, not me. Before my parents became like this, we were economically worse off than my fiance’s family now, so unless his parents are acting this way (if this is indeed the cause), then it doesn’t even occur to me that our families are “different”, or that my family is in any way perceived to be “superior”.

    Thank you for kind and considerate answers.

    • ANSWER:
      I think it is true. That is part of their culture of ” shy” or ” not enough confidence yet”. I am from Java Island. Yes we do have that culture. Education and social-economic level is one of the thing that my effect on people’s confidence to meet others in our culture. They need time to get comfortable with people of higher level of education/status.
      Keep being humble, you may start telling them that your parents really want to get to know them. You may ask when is the appropriate time to come over, ask them to help you and your Mom to cook their favorite certain food, etc. Give them opportunity to be the “teacher” for your family. Just find out what specific thing your fiance’s parents good at and tell them that you and your parents (or MOM is better starter) want to learn from them.
      That way they will feel more confidence and slowly they will want to meet your whole family.

      Good luck.

25. QUESTION:
    Why are his parents hesitant about meeting mine?
    What I’m about to describe isn’t what it seems to a Western perspective, so answers from people who understand (Southeast) Asian culture only, please. We are Indonesians of partial Chinese descent (my father and his mother).

    My fiance and I have been going out for a year. Both his family and mine are aware that we are progressing towards marriage, although no wedding date has been picked yet. My parents love my fiance as if he’s a family member, and his parents love me the same way too. We feel so much at home with each other’s families.

    However, I’ve noticed that his parents have been hesitant about meeting mine. One day my fiance and I had to delay an appointment with my parents unplanned because his mother needed a ride. Since it was in the same direction as where we were meant to meet my parents, when she was done I insisted that she came with us. But she wouldn’t leave the car, so my mother took the initiative to come there and greet her, then gave permission to my fiance to drive her home first before joining us. (Apparently this is not rude according to Asian culture; my parents treated it as no problem and it seemed like I was the only one bothered about it).

    Today is my birthday, so in order to celebrate, my parents want to invite my fiance’s parents for dinner to get properly introduced to each other. Since we’re busy moving out, we’re taking them to a nice restaurant in town. When I asked my fiance whether he’s extended the invitation to his parents, he said his mother agreed but his father is hesitant, so they had to tell him the white lie that the restaurant has already been reserved and that a penalty will have to be paid if he fails to show up. My fiance hasn’t re-checked with his father since he last asked, so the RSVP isn’t fixed yet.

    Why are his parents acting this way? And why do Asians somehow consider this to be normal? Is my family being to aggressive by taking this initiative?

    In case this helps, my family is economically, academically, and socially better off than his. But that’s really just because my dad studied abroad, worked hard, and looked out for the best job opportunities when he was young; he started off worse off than where my fiance is today. The rest of my extended family are mostly in a similar socioeconomic condition as my fiance’s family. My fiance’s parents didn’t finish college, don’t speak English or any foreign language at all, but got to live in various European countries in the 1980′s-early 2000′s because my fiance’s dad worked for our country’s embassy: hence my fiance’s great education, and now career as a lawyer. I actually have a lot of respect for my fiance’s parents, how against all odds they did a great job in providing a better future for their (now adult) children. I’ve done my best to keep as humble and low profile as possible in his family. After all, it is my parents who are successful and wealthy, not me. Before my parents became like this, we were economically worse off than my fiance’s family now, so unless his parents are acting this way (if this is indeed the cause), then it doesn’t even occur to me that our families are “different”, or that my family is in any way perceived to be “superior”.

    Thank you for kind and considerate answers.

    • ANSWER:
      Sounds like they will finally meet – just make sure everyone is comfortable

      And I think you are right on – it’s the economic status being the problem

26. QUESTION:
    being late for weddings?
    In my “desi” culture (desi means south asian pakistani indian people), pakistani and indian families are notorious about being fashionably late to weddings. This is the norm in a south asian weddings to be 2 hours late. I’m glad I was raised in U.S, I am a very punctional person. I hate being late for anything. I have my wedding reception time reserved from 6pm-11pm (Set up time is 3pm-5pm). I have to leave the venue by 12am, city noise rule/ordiance. I cant have anyone come late because I want to follow the program as it states. Im thinking of tricking my guests by putting 4:30pm on my invitation, so my guests can arrive at 6pm…hahaha….Should I do that? or should I put “Dinner 6pm Sharp, please no desi standard time”. What is a sophisticated way of getting my point across without tricking my guests?
    taz you can kiss my pakistani behind. Just because youre violent paki doesnt mean you need to take it out on me, why do you go suicide just like the 3/5 province of pakistan.

    • ANSWER:
      Dinner served 6pm sharp . US time and prompt as is custom here.

27. QUESTION:
    Muslim Wedding Etiquette?
    I am honoured to have just received a wedding invitation from a Bangladeshi Muslim colleague. I have every intention of going, but I obviously do not wish to inadvertently cause offence (I’m white C of E).

    Can anyone let me know what to expect from the Ceremony itself…advise me on what to wear, including appropriate head covering… what are appropriate gifts, and if money then how much?

    The Bride herself has far too much to do at the moment to bother her with such questions, and my other Asian friends are either Hindu or from different provinces/countries… so I am hoping someone on here can help

    Thanks in advance!

    • ANSWER:
      As long as i know, you don’t need to wear a head scarf. But, bring one beside you because they might read one of their books. At that time you need to wear a scarf.
      You may buy a gift for her. for example, something that she can use at her kitchen.
      Bangladeshis use lots of gold. So,you may also buy her a small golden jewelery. (A perfect gift)

      From wikipedia.
      A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotok’s (matchmakers), who are typically friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.

      Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride’s Gaye Holud, the groom’s Gaye Holud, the Beeya and the Bou Bhaat. These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is an informal one: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the “engagement” which is getting popularity.
      Bride’s friends and family apply turmeric paste to her body as a part of Gaye Holud ceremony.
      Bride’s friends and family apply turmeric paste to her body as a part of Gaye Holud ceremony.

      For the bride’s Gaye Holud, the groom’s family – except the groom himself – go in procession to the bride’s home. The procession traditionally centers on the (younger) female relative and friends of bride, and they are traditionally all in matching clothes, mostly orange in colour. The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate the bride’s hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece.

      The actual wedding ceremony “Beeya” follows the Gaye Holud ceremonies. The wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride’s family. On the day, the younger members of the bride’s family barricade the entrance to the venue, and demands sort of admission charge from the groom in return for allowing him to enter. The bride and groom are seated separately, and a Kazi (authorized person by the govt. to perform the wedding), accompanied by the parents and a Wakil (witness) from each side formally asks the bride for her consent to the union, and then the groom for his. Bride side of the family tries to play some kind of practical joke on the groom such as stealing the groom’s shoe.

      The reception, also known as Bou-Bhaat (reception), is a party given by the groom’s family in return for the wedding party. It is typically a much more relaxed affair, with only the second-best wedding outfit being worn.

28. QUESTION:
    How do i get them off of my case about it?
    so another college friend of mine just got married. when my parents found out about it they gave me an earful and none of it was pleasant to the ears. they’re very traditional folks, and they regard my lack of a marriage prospect as a disgrace. i’m 26 btw. the girl who just got married is a year younger than me and had only dated her hubby for a year and a half. i’ve been dating my bf for over three years now but i have no intention of marrying him any time soon given that i am still a student right now, and also that honestly, i don’t have high hopes for an interracial marriage (he’s white, i’m asian).

    now dont get me wrong, im crazy about my bf (i knew him from high school and had a crush on him ever since) but at times, i feel that my parents are more in love with this guy than i am, CONSTANTLY reminding me to hold on to him and saying cold and even nasty things about me (most of the time to my face!) whenever i feel like giving up on our relationship. once i told them maybe i don’t ever want to get married, they jeered at me and called me a failure, saying old folks their age should already be having grandkids. damn asians and their family values. i’m so f*cking sick of it all.

    i want to get the parents off of my back for good about my life and how THEY think i should live it. how do i do it without being rude to them? i’ve lost count how many times i’ve tried talking to them but it all ended with them showering my face with their spits and calling me young and stupid. i’m still a student right now and would like to focus on my career first (all of my sense of self-worth now depends on it!!!) but it’s hard to stay positive when these parents of mine manage to turn every wedding invitation that i receive from my friends into verbal abuses against me. it makes me so sad sometimes i just wish i can go to sleep one night and never wake up…..

    • ANSWER:
      Chill girl! well parents are always going to say nasty things about you. Eseciallyw hen your asian and you are not getting married. But things are changing and they are overly eager ( although it is true that it;s hard to find a really good guy that you know well to get married to) So if you think on their side, your bf is a good catch because they dont need to look around and go through the worrisome ( is thas a word) procedure of proposals.

      What has your bf got in mind? Does he want to get married soon? whats his opinion, you should talk it out with him as well. Maybe then you can tell your parents well look here i’m definitely getting married but not right now because if i get pregnant i won;t be bale to study etc. etc. They might understand if you give in your opinion.

      Be glad they like your bf, he’s probably a really nice guy to date you for three years. My parents are trying to get me married off to someone else all because they didnt like my bf who thye didnt even know!

      You need to show them that you are in control of your life and you know what your doing ( i hope you are ) but yes careers are important in this day and age, but not all asians think like us. So get a steady ground and talk to them!

      good luck!