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Wedding Night Attire

Summer is the time for weddings. When you are invited to a wedding, one of the most difficult decisions to make is what to wear. These rules of etiquette will help you avoid common blunders.

First, make sure that consider the type of wedding you are attending. Is the wedding formal or informal? Will it take place during the day or at night? A short dress or casual suit is fine for a formal or an informal daytime wedding. Cocktail dress is approp 00004000 riate for informal evening weddings as well as for semi-formal evening weddings. A formal evening wedding, ultra-formal wedding, black tie event, or white tie event will require a long gown, dressy cocktail dress, or formal suit.

Next, consider common rules of courtesy when it comes to dressing for a wedding. One of the biggest rules is not to wear white; this makes it look like you are competing with the bride. You should also avoid wearing black during the daytime. It is also a good idea to ask about the colors of the bridesmaid dresses and to avoid wearing those colors as well. You do not want to look like you are part of the wedding party.

Above all else, make sure that you dress appropriately. This means avoiding clothes that are too revealing or too casual. You should not wear sandals or flip flops unless it is a beach wedding. Always aim to appear well-groomed and pulled together.

Men should avoid wearing creative tuxedos or any tuxedo during a daytime wedding. A dark suit is a good bet for an evening wedding. Men should also be conservative in their dress, aiming for suits and ties unless otherwise specified.

These tips will help you avoid embarrassment when attending your next wedding. The goal is to dress respectfully in order to avoid making a scene.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    Does anyone know of a good lingerie site for elegant classic wedding night attire?
    I’m a virgin, have never had any lingerie and therefore have no idea where to look- I’m not going into a store to buy it so I’m looking for an online store to find some innocent, pretty things, as well as some less innocent still pretty things. Nothing gross though please.

    • ANSWER:
      A great site is www.feelthelove.ca they have cute, and sexy things. Use the code FL0104 at the checkout and you will get 10% off your entire purchase ans a free gift! I hope this helps :)

  2. QUESTION:
    Wedding Night Attire Suggestions?
    What should I wear for my wedding night? I’m not comfortable with super see-through, ultra sexy, lingerie since I’m sort of shy about that stuff. I do like lace, and silk, but I don’t really know what to get for my wedding night. Any suggestions? I’m average build, not super thin, but definitely not fat.
    I’m just lost when it comes to this stuff. I’ve never bought lingerie before. Is there anything else I should know about buying lingerie?

    • ANSWER:

      http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSSLPWEDHON&cgnbr=OSSLPWEDHON&rfnbr=977

      Hope that helps
      Have Fun ;-)

  3. QUESTION:
    Is it ok to wear white sandles to a night wedding? attire is casual caribbean. wearing black & white sundress.

    • ANSWER:
      of course…as long as it is during the summer time

  4. QUESTION:
    wedding night lingerie?
    okay guys, and girls, i want to find the sexiest, sweetest, or just plain overall BEST wedding night attire out there. price is not problem, but i’m not spending thousands of dollars on this… links to pictures please!
    it has to come in a 34F

    • ANSWER:
      Honestly when I got married three yrs ago I went and bought a very expensive night gown from a local lingerie shop and I didn’t get to use it until 3 days after the wedding. My husband was more excited with helping me out of the gown then letting me out of his site to slip into it. So my best advise to you would be just by regular lingerie for the honeymoon and let him help you get out of your gown and take it from there.

  5. QUESTION:
    What is the appropriate attire for a semiformal wedding held at 7pm on a Friday night?

    • ANSWER:
      You should dress as you would for a nice dinner or event out. Men should wear suits, unless the invitation has requested black tie. Women should choose dresses, skirts, or elegant suits in darker, sophisticated colors and fabrics; lengths vary according to what’s in style at that particular time and place. Jewelry can be more elaborate, and women may want to carry a small evening bag rather than a purse.

      You can absolutely wear black – a little black dress is classic, especially for an evening wedding. Black choices, however, should be more ornate than reserved, to give off an air of celebration rather than mourning. Sometimes, adding a little color (vibrant flower pins and scarves work wonderfully for weddings) rounds off the somber look well. I’ve seen lots of black dresses that are accented with a pretty ribbon sash at the waistline. Coordinate your shoes and your sash, add some dangly, sparkly earrings (especially if you wear your hair up) and you’re set.

  6. QUESTION:
    What are some “no-no’s” of wedding attire for girls?
    I’m 19 and attending my cousin’s wedding soon. I haven’t been to a wedding for 6 or so years so I have no idea what I should wear. Are there general rules I should follow? I hear it’s impolite to wear all white, bright colors, vibrant red, stilettos, all-over sparkly clothes. Is this pretty much right?

    The ceremony is in a church and the reception is at a hotel. I think it’s a mid-afternoon ’til night wedding.

    Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      Rules? There are no rules for weddings anymore. As long as you are not dressed offensively, wear what makes you feel comfortable. Typically where I’m from, the church ceremony is several hours before the reception, so people wear one thing to the ceremony and then change into a more dressy attire for the reception. Having had plenty of friends get married, I will tell you brides notice when people are dressed too conservative and don’t take too kindly to that. After all, they spent all the time and money on a fancy dress and lavish affair, why wouldn’t you dress for the event?

  7. QUESTION:
    What to wear to a wedding held at night?
    Im going to attend a wedding by the end of this month. The wedding is at 7pm. The attire was not noted in the invitation. I already bought a black dress (all out black) and a matched black shoes. And the accessories that I like to matched with it are black too. It looks really nice but for me its very formal. I have this other casual floral dress with a mix of colors which im thinking of wearing. I confuse now because I dont wanna over dress or i might look too casual or colorful.

    • ANSWER:
      I’d say wear the black and be happy. If it was a warm summer evening the floral dress would work.

      Of course, I haven’t seen either one. ;-)

      Good luck!

  8. QUESTION:
    What would you plan on wearing on your your wedding night to bed?
    *BEFORE you take off your attire*

    • ANSWER:
      I’m wore my PJs lol. I was so so so tired from the hustle and bustle of changing in and out of my wedding dress. I just about passed out after it was all over!

  9. QUESTION:
    What is the proper attire for a night Broadway show in New York City?
    Probably will be going on a Wed. or Thurs night. 3 kids, 3 adults. thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      All the other answers are great. I recently went to a Broadway show and I saw people wearing everything from shorts and a t-shirt to full length formal dresses. I think semi formal wear would be best, then you are not overdressed or underdressed. Sundresses, slacks, button up shirts, heels, and so on. Whatever you wear I am sure you will have a great time, enjoy!

  10. QUESTION:
    What is semi formal attire for men and women for an evening wedding on the beach (actually in the sand)?
    I need an answer as soon as possible, the wedding is tomorrow night and I hadn’t put much thought into what my hubby and myself would be wearing. Would slacks and a short sleeved button up be okay for him? And for me a nice summery dress to my knees with sandals or nice flip flops?
    The ceremony is at 6pm and it’s in Southern California if that makes any difference.

    • ANSWER:
      I would do linen slacks and a short sleeve button up for him and the summer dress with flip flops sounds perfect for you.

  11. QUESTION:
    is this appropriate wedding attire? link?
    I’m going to a night wedding this weekend and am not 100% sure about what to wear.

    I got this dress in black

    http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog_name=FOREVER21&category_name=dress&product_id=2073142107&Page=3&pgcount=100#

    but I’m not sure if it is appropriate to wear. It ends right above my knees, and I am wearing red peep toe heels with it.

    I am open to suggestions if this is not 100% appropriate

    Thanks in advance for your help! :D

    • ANSWER:
      Although it’s cute as can be,in my opinion it’s not really appropriate for a wedding. It’s a little too sexy for a wedding. Especially pairing it with red heels. Try something a little less club wear,you don’t wanna look like you’re trying to outdo the bride. Look for Cocktail Dresses. They are specifically made for these types of occasions.Hope this helps!

      http://www.amazon.com/Pleated-Goddess-Holiday-Party-Cocktail/dp/B001AHP2Q4/ref=pd_sbs_a_4

  12. QUESTION:
    Wedding gift ideas for my husband to be!! Guys help….?
    My fiance and I will be married next weekend!! He has made me promise that I will not buy him a gift and he will not be getting me one. But instead we are to come up with a cost free one. SOOOOOOOO, Aside from a halmark card which says the generic I Love you… what would be a creative idea? One of my bridesmaids suggested taking a pic in my wedding night attire and slipping it in the card along with a note/poem about how great he is. I think it’s a bit “cheesy” but then I think he is a guy so it might be something he would like.

    Bottom line – He’s been an AMAZING guy and I couldn’t be happier! That said what would a guy want from his wife-to-be that doesn’t cost a penny?!

    • ANSWER:
      Hehehe… First off, congratulations! You sound like a very excited bride-to-be. And I like your guys’ idea for the gift. Think outside the box. Creatively. This may sound cliche, but how about a coupon book? But something sexier and could be used for something as a newlywed couple. Maybe for things like one foot rub, a turn to do the dishes, one whine-free night, and things like that. I’m sure you can come up with ideas for that. Especially since you know him so well and all. Congrats and good luck! I hope I helped.

  13. QUESTION:
    Plus-size ladies…attire for wedding HELP!?
    I have a late July, night wedding to attend. I am a plus sized gal (sz. 20-22) with a large chest. I need help/suggestions with attire…I would typically wear a nice skirt and top..but I already wore that to a wedding with the same crowd in May…. I am young (22) so I want to keep my attire young/fresh/classy. The wedding colors are black, white and red …I always wear black but can’t this time…haha

    PLEASE HELP!!!

    • ANSWER:
      A deep navy blue in a well tailored fit to minimize your curves and compliment your figure.

  14. QUESTION:
    Proper attire for rehersal dinner and wedding?
    Do you have to wear a suit with tie for rehersal dinner(night before the wedding dinner).
    Also is suit and tie just fine and dandy for a wedding.Or should i bust out my tails and bow tie.
    Havn’t been to one in many a years !!!Don’t know what the fashion is like these days.

    • ANSWER:
      You dress for the level of formality of the party. The formality of the party is indicated by the formality of the invitation. So, if the invitation was third-person wording on white vellum paper written in black ink with no clever innovations in the wording: wear your tie and tails. Otherwise your suit will be just fine. If the invitation was verbal or by email or written on the back of a jigsaw puzzle or otherwise innovative, feel free to be innovative in your dress and by all means forego the tie and even the suit jacket.

  15. QUESTION:
    Appropriate wedding reception attire?
    What is appropriate attire for a winter wedding reception for a lady that doesn’t wear dresses?
    The couple is getting married at city hall that morning and is having the reception that night. The both of them are friends and they know I don’t wear dresses so they know I won’t be wearing one.
    Of course I know No Jeans and No white.
    What is appropriate considering I don’t wear dresses and it’s winter? Any advice would help.

    • ANSWER:
      Pants and a silk or sparkly top or a pants suit in an evening type fabric. If you also do not wear heels, find some nice dressy flats.

  16. QUESTION:
    What is appropriate “business casual” attire for a wedding rehearsal dinner?
    The rehearsal is in a Baptist church and the dinner is at a steakhouse. It is also tomorrow night (April 20).

    • ANSWER:
      If not a cream or light colored suit, a nice blouse with matching pants should do fine. If you do not have nything in your closet, try Macy’s but do not go overboard because it is not that serious.

  17. QUESTION:
    My wedding night underwear.?
    My lovely lady and myself are geting married tommorrow which we
    are both extremely looking forward too. My fiance has purchased
    underwear which she would like to wear on her wedding day and
    the first night of our marriage. As she has been raised by very
    old age parents her likes are quite old fashioned and as such
    she is wearing a girdle, petticoat, stockings and a full length
    white linen neck to toe night dress, very elizabethian.

    I do not mind what she wants to wear as I love her for herself and old
    fashioned underwear and night wear do not worry me.

    My problem is that she has got my underwear and night wear that she
    wants me to wear on our wedding day and night. The trouble is that I
    have always been very light on in what I wear in the underwear and
    sleep wear area.

    The difficulty I have is that she has bought one piece long sleeve and
    long leg thermal Long Johns for me to wear on our wedding day and
    during our first night together with the old 50′s style red and white striped long sleeve and long leg thick flannalette pyjamas with
    the old fashioned draw string on the pants to hold them up.

    The problem is that I have memories of my grandfather wearing these
    when I was a little boy and I did not think he looked attractive in them
    then and now I am going to be wearing the same.

    As the theme she has chosen for our wedding is old style with horse
    and cart and old fashioned suites and ties I could understand her
    wanting a number of old fashioned things. I did not even argue
    when she took myself, my best man and my groomsman to
    her elderly fathers barber this morning for each of us to have
    an extremely short back and sides haircut with the old
    razor sharp part on the left and soaked with hair oil.

    I just feel the Long Johns and flanalette pyjamas are going a bit to far.

    What should I do, Just put up with wearing them for tommorrow and
    tommorrow night and hope they are not attire she wants me to
    wear for the future or risk upsetting her on her special day and
    express my dissatisfaction.

    Can anyone give me good sincere advice.

    • ANSWER:
      You have got to be making this up. If you two knew each other well enough to get married, then she would know that you aren’t turned on by all that crap she’s planning on wearing and she NEVER would expect you to do the same.

      I think your just a dirty old man hoping to get some detailed descriptions of what every one else is wearing. Go find a porn site some where and leave us alone!

      I checked out your profile and it’s full of creepy questions about petticoats & shaving and your future father-in-law.

      You are one weird dude!

  18. QUESTION:
    what to wear to a wedding…?
    FACTS:
    Its my boyfriends cousins wedding
    On December.
    Formal Attire
    Night wedding
    will be cold =]

    HELP!!!
    some web pages and pics will be greatly appreciated!!! =]
    as well as tips and suggestions

    • ANSWER:
      Well to me, formal attire plus wedding, usually means dress. Of course you don’t want anything that outshines the bride, nor do you want anything too matronly looking. I am going to guess that since it is not only a December wedding, but at night that it will be indoors, siome maybe one of these ideas:
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2951180/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6010498?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6010498&P=1 (chic and simple, pair with a black wrap and heels)
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2943114/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6010498?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6010498&P=2 (also nice, again pair with a wrap and matcihng heels)
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2949272/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6010498?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6010498&P=1 (black is more than acceptable for a wedding and super chic looking too)

      If you would rather go with a blouse and dressy pants, make sure they are top notch looking:

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2954746/0~2376776~2374327~2374333~2377660?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=2377660&P=1

      http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501310478&view=80&N=1020858&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3Fview%3D80%26N%3D1020858&R=JTR756

      http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=281403&CategoryID=255&LinkType=EverGreen

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2955946/0~2378467~2378483~2377033?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=2377033&P=1

      (pair any of these tops with chic whide leg dress pants, preferably black…looks nicer. Finish with heels and great jewelry)

      Top the whole look with a great knee length winter coat…dressy of course, that should help with winter chill, tailored gloves too!

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2953870/0~2378467~2378483~2383026?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=2383026&P=1

      Hope this helps! Have a great time!

  19. QUESTION:
    Can I wear a black and white dress to a wedding?
    I am attending a wedding tomorrow night as someone’s date. He is in the wedding so he will be dressed in formal attire. Most of the dresses in my closet or black, white, or a combination of the two. I know I can’t wear white, and I know some frown upon black. I have two dresses that are black and white. One is mid-calf length with spaghetti straps, mostly black with some white trim. The other is a sleeveless/halter style, just below knee length, with a black and white floral pattern. Could I get away with wearing one of these?? Thanks for your help!
    I do not know the bride or the groom so I will not be able to consult with either as to what they would prefer me to wear.

    • ANSWER:
      either is fine

  20. QUESTION:
    Wedding Attire?
    I’m going to a wedding this weekend. It’s at night and I’m wearing a black cocktail dress. I’ve decided to wear gold jewerly. I plan on wearing a gold cross and a gold bracelet. I want to add earrings and I’m thinking about medium sized gold hoops (classic, not trashy hoops) But, I think the hoops may look too dressed up and not as formal as the rest of my outfit. I’m wearing black heels w/ the dress too and a black clutch. What do we think? Yes or No, to the hoops.

    I’m in my mid-20′s if that helps.
    Edit–I meant to say the hoops will look too dressed down, and not formal enough.

    • ANSWER:
      Hoops

  21. QUESTION:
    Evening wedding attire ideas?
    I am going to a wedding at 6pm next weekend, it is a very big wedding. The reception will be at the country club, with an open bar and dancing. I would really like to be comfy through the night. It will probably be hot and humid as I do live in the south. I was thinking of wearing a black and cream pant suit, would that be appropriate or should I go with the standard, dress, or shirt and blouse. I am not very comfy in either of those, but if you say so, I will. Thanks for any advice.

    • ANSWER:
      if it is a evening wedding you can get away with wearing pant suit. If it is a day wedding then it would not be apporiate. Have fun

  22. QUESTION:
    wedding attire??
    i am attending a wedding on September 15 and its around 1:00 and then the reception will be at around 5:00. Waht should I wear? I want to be comfortable and I know that the bride probably wants it to be casual and she doesnt want to wear her dress all night. I would like to know what color would be best to wear.

    • ANSWER:
      Actually, for this late summer/early fall time, just about any color will do (except for white…we don’t want to clash with the bride, as she and her groom are the chief adornments of this happy occasion).
      I would think, if you like sleeveless dresses with maybe a pretty shawl over it (for the ceremony) and then, for the reception, leave the shawl on the back of your chair when you’re dancing.
      As for colors, I’d pick a color YOU like….and look best in…and have a darn good time!

  23. QUESTION:
    Wedding Attire? Please Help!!?
    Okay so last night my bf invited me to his cousin’s wedding that’s only in like a couple days. I want to make a good impression, but i’m not at all sure what to wear! I’m pretty sure it’s a traditional wedding (in the South) at a church. I’m going shopping in a few hours and any help would be appreciated. The only stores we have in my town are:
    TJ Maxx
    American Eagle
    Maurice’s
    JC Penney
    Belk
    Dillard’s
    Aeropastle
    Victoria’s Secret
    Target
    Rue 21
    Claire’s

    Please help me out!!

    • ANSWER:

  24. QUESTION:
    Beach wedding attire. Which do you like best?
    My sister is having a very casual beach wedding. We are going on a cruise so I’m getting several dresses for dinner each night and then whichever one looks best is the one I’ll wear to the wedding.

    I’m getting this one

    http://www.bodyc.com/BodyCentral/womens.fashion/itemdetl.html?item=3462

    And am trying to figure which one of these other two is better.

    http://www.bodyc.com/BodyCentral/womens.fashion/itemdetl.html?item=3390

    in yellow. Click on the dress and you can pick the colors.

    Or this one

    http://www.bodyc.com/BodyCentral/womens.fashion/itemdetl.html?item=2948

    Which do you like best?

    About me:

    I’m short 5’4″. Brown hair, blue eyes, irish fair complexion. Average body, not very busty so there is a good chance I’ll have to get the neckline raised on any of these but I’ll have to see.

    • ANSWER:
      I love the first one most! And I wouldn’t get #2 because it is too similar to #1, so for the second dress I would get #3.
      Cute dresses

  25. QUESTION:
    What should I wear to a masquerade wedding?
    I have been invited to a wedding on Halloween night. The invitation said they were inviting the guests to wear “masquerade attire.” I know it is at a formal resort and it’s my husband’s boss’ daughter who is the bride.

    Originally, before I saw the invite, I thought we were all going to dress up in Halloween costumes. But, after reading it, I don’t want to show up as Beth and Dog the Bounty Hunter if everyone else is going to be formally costumed.

    Any ideas????

    • ANSWER:
      watch “eyes wide shut”before you go any where lmao
      ball gown and a mask would probably be the norm

  26. QUESTION:
    do you think this dress is suited for a “cocktail chic” attire wedding?

    http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=476886&CategoryID=16697

    it’s being held at a gorgeous museum at 8 o’clock at night.

    • ANSWER:
      No, it’s not.

      Some better ideas

      http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=484168&CategoryID=13734

      http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=484178&CategoryID=14952&LinkType=PDPZ1

      http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=474900&CategoryID=14952&LinkType=PDPZ1

      http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=484169&CategoryID=13734

  27. QUESTION:
    Wedding rehearsal attire…?
    My fiance is in the wedding party, so we’ll be attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The wedding is in San Francisco, and I don’t know what is appropriate for me to wear. I don’t want to bother the bride and groom at this point, and my fiance just says he’s wearing slacks (duh). So I don’t know if I should wear a casual dress, slacks, or skirt… I’ve heard a rumor that the dinner is going to be at a franchise restaurant, but the wedding is semi-formal, and evening. Plus the fact that it’s in San Francisco on a Friday night, so hopefully there is a possibility of going out after the dinner… HELP, its tomorrow!

    • ANSWER:
      Casual dress is always a safe option for the rehearsal dinner. For the wedding, at least cocktail dress.

  28. QUESTION:
    Should I wear my sexy (madonna style) wedding dress for my boyfriend one night as a suprise?
    It was an impulse buy, and I kind of regret it now, however the sexy wife/wedding outfit is pretty sexy. Ive always wanted to dress as a sexy wife for my man! I could
    (a) use it for a friends hens night, however I think this attire is reserved for the bride, and I am a little bit conservative when I do go out.
    (b) dress up for my boyfriend in it or
    (c) wait until he proposes or
    (d) mention that I have it, in case he sees it in my wardrobe and tell him I’ll wear it for him “someday”.

    We have been together for about 3 years. But do you think he will be a little bit scared by the fact that buying a “sort of” sexy wedding dress? Or would it encourage him to propose?

    he might get turned out and turned off at the same time!! :D

    Any suggestions would be much appreciated :)

    • ANSWER:
      I say wait, you dont want to scare him off, but if you really wanna look sexy for him go ahead and buy yourself something else that’s sexy

  29. QUESTION:
    Change from a summer to a winter wedding?
    I began making plans for my wedding in July 2010, but I recently moved the date up to January 2010. What kind of things should I take into consideration when altering my plans as far as time of the ceremony, flowers, colors, attire, etc.
    My wedding was originally planned to be on a friday night (7:30)

    • ANSWER:
      It will get dark verrrrry quickly.

      Also, is your wedding indoors or outdoors? Make sure the venue can cover both if the weather changes suddenly.

      *
      *
      *

  30. QUESTION:
    Idea for gift for husband-to-be?
    My fiance and I will be married next weekend!! He has made me promise that I will not buy him a gift and he will not be getting me one. But instead we are to come up with a cost free one. SOOOOOOOO, Aside from a halmark card which says the generic I Love you… what would be a creative idea? One of my bridesmaids suggested taking a pic in my wedding night attire and slipping it in the card along with a note/poem about how great he is. I think it’s a bit “cheesy” but then I think he is a guy so it might be something he would like.

    Bottom line – He’s been an AMAZING guy and I couldn’t be happier! That said what would a guy want from his wife-to-be that doesn’t cost a penny?!

    • ANSWER:

  31. QUESTION:
    What to wear to a fall beach wedding?
    I (female, 26) was recently invited to a beach wedding at a nice hotel on Singer Island in South Florida. It is the first Saturday in Novemeber, so it can be considered a ‘Fall’ wedding as well. It is scheduled to begin at 5pm, so it is an evening/night event. The wedding invitation is in ‘Lilly Pulitizer’ style colors (bright pink and green) with palm trees. I’ve been told that the attire is ‘Beach Semi-Formal’ and that men can “wear slack/button down shirts” (nothing mentioned about ties or jackets) and women can “wear a nice dress but nothing too fancy.” I have no idea what to wear because ‘beach’ and ‘fall’ seem to indicate completely different types of wedding attire.

    1) Do I wear a long or short (cocktail) length dress? The ceremony is on a sandy beach so I thought cocktail length might be best. But then again, it’s Fall, in the evening, and at a nice hotel so I’m not sure if a floor length gown would be more apropriate. Long or Short?

    2) What color? I initially thought bright, vibrant colors would be good for a beach wedding in tropical South Florida. But again, the event is on a Fall evening so maybe dark colors would be better. Bright or Dark Colors?

    Thanks so much for your help!

    • ANSWER:
      Beaches in Florida tend to be extremely windy, keep that in mind when you put on a dress, you don’t want something that’s going to fly up and show everything. The sand also makes it harder to walk in longer clothing.

      I would go with a “medium” length dress like a sun dress, one that goes to your knees at least, it would be easier to control if the wind picks up and it won’t be too hot or too cold (seeing as the weather in Florida is unpredictable). Bring two pairs of shoes, flip flops for the beach (so you can kick the sand out and wash your feet more easily) and a pair you want to wear to the reception. I agree with the bright colors.

      If you aren’t sure then you could always bring another dress to change into for the reception or ask the Bride what she thinks, I bet she could give you the best advice.

  32. QUESTION:
    What should we give sil for wedding present?
    She gave us a wii for our wedding. She brought her entire family and oldest daughters bf. we also paid for two nights of there hotel stay and bridal party attire roughly 500 bucks. I know we had money when we got married but now im out of work about a 30% income loss for my husband and I. What would be an appropriate gift. it would just be my husband and I. Also its open bar and cost pp is 37 bucks.

    • ANSWER:
      Give what you can afford now. You have awhile after the wedding to give a gift. You can always get something later.

      I would give a gift card or cash, and a really nice card. 0 would equal the cost of 2 inexpensive drinks, and the meal for 2 of you.
      Or, shop the discount stores like Tuesday Mornings, and get something nice on deep discount.

      Make it up to her with presents that don’t cost a lot. A collection of heirloom recipes, done up on cute recipe cards is a cute idea. Do you craft? give her a craft project. Someone here was making bride and groom brooms for someones shower. I am making one for my friends for Xmas.

      If things are better for you say at their 3 month anniversary, or even 6 month, do something nice for them then. Take them out to dinner, or invite them over. Give them a bottle of champagne, and some chocolate covered strawberries.

      Really, people do understand that the economy is horrible, and she probably knows you are out of work. And probably will be surprised that you were able to get her anything.

  33. QUESTION:
    Is this dress wedding guest appropriate?
    I am going to an evening wedding (6 o clock) and the bride said the attire is “Saturday night attire”…I have no idea what that means. Anyways I was thinking of wearing this dress, but in black (which they dont have listed). Please click on one of them and look at the back, because its a backless dress, and Im worried its too showy? The couple isnt exactly conservative but the wedding seems upscale.

    http://www.gojane.com/37900-formals-shirred-cross-back-formal-dress.html

    I’m 22 years old, the dress falls about 3 inches above my knees.

    Also other suggestions for dresses are appreciate :)

    • ANSWER:
      Only if it is in black. Any other color would make it too “loud”.

  34. QUESTION:
    Is this dress okay to wear to a wedding?
    I am going to an evening wedding (6 o clock) and the bride said the attire is “Saturday night attire”…I have no idea what that means. Anyways I was thinking of wearing this dress, but in black (which they dont have listed). Please click on one of them and look at the back, because its a backless dress, and Im worried its too showy? The couple isnt exactly conservative but the wedding seems upscale.

    http://www.gojane.com/37900-formals-shirred-cross-back-formal-dress.html

    I’m 22 years old, the dress falls about 3 inches above my knees.

    Also other suggestions for dresses are appreciate :)

    • ANSWER:
      While I think this is a great dress for a nice night club, I don’t think its appropriate for a wedding. Wear something a little longer, and not backless.

  35. QUESTION:
    exotic wedding theme… with an “exotic” ending help?
    my wedding is in 4 days and it has an amazon theme b/c my husband-to-be is huge on the rain forest.

    he said to me yesterday he “can’t wait for our EXOTIC wedding night”

    i’m not all too savvy on this stuff, so how do i make it exotic?

    positions? attire? game plan? etc, details are helpful—in moderation..

    thanks for the help! sorry my spelling and grammar suck right now, it’s late!

    • ANSWER:
      If you know how to dance, maybe a strip tease. I cannot dance and have no rhythm, therefore, not an option. But like someone else said, don’t plan it out or stress about it. Go with the flow. Have some wine to loosen up (literally!).

  36. QUESTION:
    I am going to an Indian wedding in Sept in CA. What do I wear?
    The wedding is in the morning and the reception is at night. The reception is formal and invites stated to wear formal traditional Indian attire. What is appropriate for a woman of the age 30 to wear?
    Indian as in India.

    • ANSWER:
      Exactly what it says traditional indian attire… ask the bride to be..

  37. QUESTION:
    Tony and Tina’s Wedding?
    I am going to Tony and Tina’s Wedding tomorrow night and we have no clue what to wear. What is the attire here? I would assume no jeans but is a skirt too dressy?

    Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      A skirt is never too dressy for the theater … and since the event takes place at a wedding and the following reception, you will fit right into the spirit of the piece.
      WR Garrity,
      playwright/ lyricist

  38. QUESTION:
    Proper attire for an Air Force afternoon military wedding…help!?
    My nephew is getting married at the Citadel Chapel at 1:00 p.m. My son (the groom’s cousin) is very fashion conscience…..HELP, PLEASE, should he wear his dark beige linen pants, brown (gorgeous stripped shirt) and light linen jacket??? GQ says, yes…the pants are cuffed, which he hates. He will not be able to return to his hotel room to change…it will be an all night affair……..HELP, oh he has a great belt and shoes……..what to you think?

    • ANSWER:
      That seems like a perfectly acceptable outfit. It doesn’t sound like a formal wedding even with all the Air Force bells and whistles. And he’ll need something that he can be comfortable in all night so if that works for him that should be all right.

  39. QUESTION:
    What do I wear to this wedding?
    I’m going to a wedding but don’t know what the attire should be. Its at 5:30 on a Friday night. It’s at a nice venue but not a church. Dinner and dancing are part of the reception. Should I just assume cocktail dress or are there more options? I ask b/c I just had a baby and the options of things I own are limited and didn’t want to have to go buy something for this one occasion. Thanks for your help!

    • ANSWER:
      I mean that cocktail dress is good, but in your case others options are aceptable.

  40. QUESTION:
    Before a couple gets Married, the night before the “BIG DAY” are they suppose to stay together that evening?
    Because I was told that the couple could stay together as long as they just don’t see each other in their Wedding Attire! I was told, and heard by MANY that the couple shouldn’t stay with one another that evening before the “BIG DAY”, because their is so much that both need to do, and that this will only STRESS one another OUT, and be pissed off at each other before the BIG DAY ? TRUE OR FALSE ? OR BEST ANSWER ANYONE OUT THEIR>

    • ANSWER:
      I think most people would assume that the traditional style of a wedding is to not have the bride and groom stay together the night before.

  41. QUESTION:
    Do we have to rent vehicles for our wedding party?
    We are on a budget and our wedding party has chosen hotels that aren’t the two (right next to eachother) that we blocked rooms at – we live a couple hours drive away from our family so many are spending the night of our wedding in a hotel so they don’t have to drive home.
    We paid for the attire for the wedding party to help them out since they will have to pay for their rooms.

    Now I am being asked about limos. I cut limos from the budget early on.
    I blocked rooms at two hotels 2 miles from the church, a reception hall less than 1/2 mile from the church (and within 2 miles from the hotels) and our wedding party opted to find other places to stay – - so they are all over the map (one groomsman nearly 10 miles away).

    All the limo companies require you to book for a minimum of 5 hours and I think it is just crazy to spend 0+ on a limo that is going to be used for less than 30 minutes total (hotels to church is maybe 10 minutes ride, church to reception is 5 minutes, reception to hotels are about 10 minutes max).

    Has anyone else not rented limos and just asked their wedding party to drive themselves to/from the wedding and reception?
    Is it an unreasonable expectation given that I ensured everything was so close together?
    My FH owns a classic car (1966 Ford Fairlane) that I want to use for us anyway – - so skipping the limos was an easy choice for us.

    • ANSWER:
      I have never been to a wedding with a limo; usually the wedding party and the guests just drive themselves. I agree with you – renting a limo is extravagant, and not necessary. Seems to me you’ve been plenty generous with your wedding party, paying for their attire and all. Just ask them to rent cars or get a taxi.

  42. QUESTION:
    Courthouse wedding without reception?
    My fiance & I are having a very small courthouse wedding (there wont be a ceremony later on) with very close family and friends. I’d prefer not to have a reception, and if so something more personal, such as a night with our immediate families and closest friends at a nice restaurant. Is that appropriate? Recommendations are very welcome!

    And as far as attire to the courthouse- is a white (non-wedding) dress fine?

    Thank you for your time.

    • ANSWER:
      You have a great plan!

      Know that ANY type of celebration after the wedding IS a reception! A “reception” simply means “a receiving of your guests.” A reception can be anything from as lavish as Chelsea Clinton is having to something very small and intimate, as you are wanting.

      YES, take your guests out to a nice restaurant. Many restaurants have private rooms that you can use. Talk with the manager. OR, if you like a certain restaurant and they do not have a private room, then possibly you can be seated in a corner somewhere. See about bringing in a wedding cake or if they will make one for you. If it was me, I would want to make sure that there is a vase of flowers in the middle of the table, or a nice candle centerpiece. Again, talk with the manager on these details.

      If you do go with a restaurant, know that you and your fiance should pay for all of your guests (unless your parents or his have offered). Here is another nice touch for a restaurant reception. Again, if it was me….I would look over the menu and choose 5 or 6 entree choices, a few sides to go with it….then make up your OWN menu (on cardstock you can buy at a craft store) and list these items. You can make them as informal or as fancy as you want. List the items WITHOUT the prices so it doesn’t make your guests feel uncomfortable. Then, simply put one at everyones spot. Here is a picture of some:

      http://www.finestationery.com/product.cfm?prod_id=83357&cm_thisCategory=2&cat=2&cat_id=2&subcat_id=969

      http://www.finestationery.com/product.cfm?prod_id=82571&cm_thisCategory=2&cat=2&cat_id=2&subcat_id=969

      Obviously, yours would be different from these ones because you would be listing the selections….but you get the idea.

      A white dress (even a short white wedding dress!) is perfectly fine to wear. It is, after all, your wedding!

      Good luck and congratulations!

  43. QUESTION:
    What should we wear to a rehersal dinner?
    My husband and I are attending a rehersal dinner for a friends wedding in a couple weeks. The attire for the wedding is “cocktail attire” and I am wearing a black dress and my husband is wearing a suit without a tie. We’re not sure what we should wear to the rehersal dinner the night before. Any suggestions?

    • ANSWER:
      I think a pair of cute white cropped pants and a flouncy black blouse with some beads or necklaces. For shoes you could wear a simple pair of black heels. Here are some links:

      pants

      http://shop.guess.com/ProductDetails.aspx?style=YPST0577&image=YPST0577-WHTB&root_category|46=WOMEN&category|57=CAPRIS&browse=1&rpt=Department.aspx&pt=ProductListing.aspx

      blouse

      http://www.bebe.com/gp/product/B000OQ8DF4/sr=1-31/qid=1184267338/ref=sr_1_31/002-1236634-4970432?ie=UTF8&fontColor=000000&node=328856011&m=A2FMOXN01TSNYY&totalItemIn1Page=24&startIndex=0&displayPageNum=1&bbBrand=core&field-clothing-size=&keywords=&firstPageItemNum=0&title=&restPageHasColor=0&myViewID=embedded&displaySalePrice=0&displayItemNum=12&standardPageSize=12&size=12&rh=n%3A328856011&page=2&bgColor=

      necklaces

      http://www.bebe.com/gp/product/B000RB4V3Y/sr=1-1/qid=1184267390/ref=sr_1_1/002-1236634-4970432?ie=UTF8&fontColor=000000&node=235562011&m=A2FMOXN01TSNYY&totalItemIn1Page=24&startIndex=0&displayPageNum=1&bbBrand=core&field-clothing-size=&keywords=&firstPageItemNum=0&title=&restPageHasColor=0&myViewID=embedded&displaySalePrice=0&displayItemNum=12&standardPageSize=12&size=12&rh=n%3A235562011&page=1&bgColor=

      if you think the necklaces are to much then you can just wear some simple silver bracelets or you don’t even have to wear any jewelry except for maybe some cute earrings

      shoes

      http://www.shoebuy.com/jessica-simpson-bessie/199902/449543?cm_mmc=Become.com-_-none-_-none-_-none

      Have fun!

  44. QUESTION:
    I have a sexy costume wedding dress ( madonna style) to wear for my boyfriend. Bad idea?
    It was an impulse buy, and I kind of regret it now, however the sexy wife/wedding outfit is pretty sexy. I could
    (a) use it for a friends hens night, however I think this attire is reserved for the bride, and I am a little bit conservative when I do go out.
    (b) dress up for my boyfriend in it or
    (c) wait until he proposes or
    (d) mention that I have it, in case he sees it in my wardrobe and tell him I’ll wear it for him “someday”.

    We have been together for about 3 years. But do you think he will be a little bit scared by the fact that buying a “sort of” sexy wedding dress? Or would it encourage him to propose?

    LOL he might get turned out and turned off at the same time!!

    Please help :) xx

    • ANSWER:

      http://www.ubrides.com/home.php?cat=912&catexp=912

  45. QUESTION:
    What are your biggest regrets as a wedding guest?
    Do you ever look back on weddings you attended and realized maybe you were the guest from hell? If so, what happened?

    Mine aren’t too bad, but they are still embarrassing when I look back on it. I showed up to a cousin’s formal wedding once in really ugly attire. Kind of a patchwork gypsy skirt that had BELLS on the bottom and a tank top that I only covered half of the time with a striped sweater. What was I thinking?

    I was in my crazy college days for my aunt’s second marriage. I drank more than I should have an accidentally knocked over and broke the expensive glass centerpiece — right after dinner, so long before the night was over!

    And, when I was a very poor college student, an ex-friend was getting married and invited me. We were on speaking terms by then but we had gone through a really bad period the year before, and I hadn’t fully warmed up to her again. As I said, I was legitimately poor, but I could have done better than the ugly, ugly, ugly set of 4 plates I got her at a discount store. I guess I thought my financial situation made it okay, but now I realize that was just wrong, not to mention passive aggressive. I could have afforded even on something else, or on a gift card.

    I also left a wedding once immediately after dinner without a good reason and apparently the bride noticed I wasn’t there and was upset.

    Thankfully, I think I am a much better guest now!

    • ANSWER:
      We missed the ceremony at a wedding we recently attended. We got a flat tire and had to get it changed or we wouldn’t have made it at all – - but I still felt awful and was very embarrassed. I don’t like being in the crowd that only shows up for the free food.

      Last year, my FSIL got totally drunk at a wedding & completely flipped out over another drunk relative’s poor behavior. My fiance & I had to go into the ladies room, calm her down, and get her out of there. We did our best to not make a scene, but EVERYBODY knows we left early because we were escorting the drunk FSIL to the other SIL’s house to get her to bed. So it wasn’t exactly me that caused the problem, but I felt so bad for the bride & groom and more so because I was involved in the exiting!

  46. QUESTION:
    Is it ok to wear a long formal dress to a wedding?
    My college roommate’s wedding is at the end of January, and she’s English, so the wedding will be at a church in England followed by a wedding reception in the evening.

    The dress that I have is a deep dark navy blue that touches the floor– made of satin, so it’s a formal gown. Is that too overdressed to go to a wedding? I was considering a long dress because I know it would be too cold to wear a short dress since I’m so used to the California weather over here. I think the dress would be ok to wear to the wedding reception since that would be at night..but the I’m not so sure if that is an appropriate attire to go to the church for the wedding. I am having the feeling that it might be too much to wear to a church.

    Any suggestions? or should I just simply look for another dress that is more cocktail-ish? I’m just kind of dreading spending money on a dress since I’m so broke. =P

    • ANSWER:
      I really think it may be a bit much. do you have something business appropriate? My opinon (and I apologize I do not know English customs), in the US unless it’s a black tie affair, guests generally do not wear gowns and tuxes to a wedding.

      Speak to your friend; certainly, if you are spending all that money to travel to her wedding what you wear is less important than the fact you’re there. I’d say to find out how formal it is- I understand not wanting to be over or under dressed. It may be better to be over- rather than under-dressed.

  47. QUESTION:
    Son not invited to wedding?
    NOrmally i wouldnt care and agree that it is the brides choice but this is my sil and we had a no children reception but we made an acception for her because she begged that her girls be in the bridal party. Then when i said okay she said she didnt know she had to buy there dresses and that i would have to tell my nieces they couldnt be in the wedding. It cost me 300 bucks for there attire and we gave the free groom tux to her future husband. Also she asked that we get them a hotel which was 130 bucks and then she stayed two nights and had the 2nd night charded to my credit card. So all in all it was over 450 bucks just to have them come not to mentinoned the cost to feed all 6 of them at the reception.

    I was very upset that she couldnt even be bothered to invite my son.
    Sorry the question is do you think id be out of line to ask about my son?

    Shes inviting my parents too and they would be our baby sitter for the night
    The invite didnt say adult reception or adult only my sons name wasnt on the invite
    My parents are going to the wedding. I dont think she needs to provide a baby sitter im more tiffed about how my husband and i went out of our way for her large family and she cant show an ounce of gratitude towards us

    • ANSWER:
      To be just a little blunt, the reason she cost you 0 with your wedding is that you allowed her to take advantage of you multiple times. Now, she’s finally doing something that she has a right to do, and it seems rude, but it isn’t. The rudeness is everything she did prior to this!

      Technically, you shouldn’t ask about your son, but since this is family, it wouldn’t hurt to try. But for most people, when they say adult reception, they mean it, because it can cause massive problems if even one exception is made.

  48. QUESTION:
    A Wedding question? Help?
    Would you be mad if people told you (for whatever reason) they could not attend your wedding? What if it was just some guests, and not your bridal party? Would you be upset if members of your bridal party could not attend the bachelorette party, or come up early on rehersal day? Should people make an effort to please the bride and her husband-to-be?

    I’m trying to look at the situation on a even note and try to understand where my sister is comming from. She posted this last night on Facebook: “is hating how selfish this wedding is making people. this day is supposed to be about me and my husband not everyone else and their excuses………….”

    All I can think is maybe people can’t attend? Are they wrong for not? (I’m thinking $$ may be an issue) She is in college and has a lot of college friends. She lives in Cincinatti, and the wedding is in Toledo (ohio). She is having the bachelorette party as a weekend trip to Chicago. Our relatives live all over the state of michigan.

    I am her older sister. I live between the two cities (both are about 200miles away) I have been married for 8 years and have 2 small children. I am trying to be there for her and do what i can to help, but she’s mad i didn’t go to toledo to help her with invites, I helped plan and exicute her bridal shower (also in toledo) (although i couldn’t afford to get her a gift). I bought my bridesmaid dress, as well as my daughter’s flower girl dress, both from david’s bridal, about 0 total.(which I had to get a job to pay for btw) I am working as many hours as i can to afford the trip up for the wedding (hotel room, possible gift, gas, expenses, etc.) She is also planning for everyone to come up for the day friday to get mani/pedi’s see a movie, go shopping and lunch, etc. which i would LOVE to do if money weren’t so tight! But I can’t tell her this because she gets back on the kick of “well it’s MY day and you should do what I want..” I haven’t even told her I’m not going to Chicago.. I can’t afford it!!! (Plus other reasons i won’t get into-but $$ is the biggest) HELP!!
    My relatives all seem to side with her on the issues. I’m trying to stay out of it unless asked something specific but I am so torn. I wanted so bad to be there and help out my sis and be at her beck-and-call and everything, but having a family, the miles between us, and the cost vs money have really held me back. She has had somewhat expensive taste through this and I got “yelled at” by her and my family when I tried to say something about it (probably should’ve just held my toungue I know)!

    on a side note, my cousin is getting married the week before on a friday, and I sent my regrets because her wedding is around 400 miles away in michigan, on a friday afternoon, formal attire. My husband works, and I have no one to take my kids to (everyone works) AND the cost of gas… I’d rather save it for my sister’s wedding! but again, my cousin is mad that I’m not comming.

    I don’t know if I’m just in the wrong?? My husband and everyone I talk to around home here seems to think my sister is nuts and expecting way too much out of people. I really want to make her happy, but I’m going crazy with being divided over what i want to do and what I can afford and reasonably do with 2 little kids, a working husband (well, now I’m working too) and living so far away!

    Advice please? Thanks!
    (I’m asking on N&B too because all you mom’s can relate with having kids in the mix!)
    Yeah, I know FB things shouldn’t be taken to heart. She HAS made these same remarks to me though in the past and because I know they are waiting for my answer on whether or not I am attending the bachelorette party, I get a little paranoid. I know the minute i tell them i’m not going, all hell will break loose, so I’m putting it off as long as I can! =(
    MaryMary: I’m not sure why you are taking this as a personal insult? I’m not at all using my kids as an excuse, and i do know single moms like you work very hard and have to put a lot more effort into life, and i totally respect you for it! There are other issues in my family i am not sharing on here because i don’t really think they are relevant to the question i am asking, but please don’t assume things. But thank you for your honesty.
    BTW- I am booking the hotel room for the night today. If my hubby had his way, we would leave the reception early and go home. (my family tends to get pretty wild during events- drinking and all and my hubby HATES it! I’m more forgiving than he is.)

    Oh, and I’m not the one giving the TD by the way- whoever it is!
    For the record, all my bridesmaids lived in town, except for my best friend who lived out of state. She did not attend my showers or anything, and I totally understood! I was very greatful she attended my wedding and was willing to be my maid of honor! I was the same for her wedding as well and I tried to do as much or more than she did for me! My dresses were 0 each, which I know was pricy but that was the only thing I asked of my wedding party. I didn’t quibble about little things like shoes (had them wear whatever they wanted that was comfortable for them but still dressy) and as bor my bachelorette party, it was at my house and my cousin put it on for me. I didn’t whine about whether or not it was something i wanted. I wasn’t really expecting one to be quite honest and was excited my cousin did this for me! I invited 250 guests, and 180 attended. I wasn’t disapointed in the least! in fact, i feel bad because i don’t remember who was there and who wasn’t! haha

    • ANSWER:
      Your sister needs to be more understanding

  49. QUESTION:
    A wedding question?? about guests?
    Would you be mad if people told you (for whatever reason) they could not attend your wedding? What if it was just some guests, and not your bridal party? Would you be upset if members of your bridal party could not attend the bachelorette party, or come up early on rehersal day? Should people make an effort to please the bride and her husband-to-be?

    I’m trying to look at the situation on a even note and try to understand where my sister is comming from. She posted this last night on Facebook: “is hating how selfish this wedding is making people. this day is supposed to be about me and my husband not everyone else and their excuses………….”

    All I can think is maybe people can’t attend? Are they wrong for not? (I’m thinking $$ may be an issue) She is in college and has a lot of college friends. She lives in Cincinatti, and the wedding is in Toledo (ohio). She is having the bachelorette party as a weekend trip to Chicago. Our relatives live all over the state of michigan.

    I am her older sister. I live between the two cities (both are about 200miles away) I have been married for 8 years and have 2 small children. I am trying to be there for her and do what i can to help, but she’s mad i didn’t go to toledo to help her with invites, I helped plan and exicute her bridal shower (also in toledo) (although i couldn’t afford to get her a gift). I bought my bridesmaid dress, as well as my daughter’s flower girl dress, both from david’s bridal, about 0 total.(which I had to get a job to pay for btw) I am working as many hours as i can to afford the trip up for the wedding (hotel room, possible gift, gas, expenses, etc.) She is also planning for everyone to come up for the day friday to get mani/pedi’s see a movie, go shopping and lunch, etc. which i would LOVE to do if money weren’t so tight! But I can’t tell her this because she gets back on the kick of “well it’s MY day and you should do what I want..” I haven’t even told her I’m not going to Chicago.. I can’t afford it!!! (Plus other reasons i won’t get into-but $$ is the biggest) HELP!!
    My relatives all seem to side with her on the issues. I’m trying to stay out of it unless asked something specific but I am so torn. I wanted so bad to be there and help out my sis and be at her beck-and-call and everything, but having a family, the miles between us, and the cost vs money have really held me back. She has had somewhat expensive taste through this and I got “yelled at” by her and my family when I tried to say something about it (probably should’ve just held my toungue I know)!

    on a side note, my cousin is getting married the week before on a friday, and I sent my regrets because her wedding is around 400 miles away in michigan, on a friday afternoon, formal attire. My husband works, and I have no one to take my kids to (everyone works) AND the cost of gas… I’d rather save it for my sister’s wedding! but again, my cousin is mad that I’m not comming.

    I don’t know if I’m just in the wrong?? My husband and everyone I talk to around home here seems to think my sister is nuts and expecting way too much out of people. I really want to make her happy, but I’m going crazy with being divided over what i want to do and what I can afford and reasonably do with 2 little kids, a working husband (well, now I’m working too) and living so far away!

    Advice please? Thanks!
    (I’m asking on N&B too because all you mom’s can relate with having kids in the mix!)
    I totally anticipated buying the dresses, planning the shower, and being a part of the wedding. It’s all the extra added expenses i haven’t accounted for (mani/pedi’s- travel out of town to help, etc.) Plus, we had an unplanned surgery for my daughter earlier this year. I really AM trying! I don’t want to bow out or anything, I just would like her to understand that i really am doing all I can and not trying to just make excuses for things i don’t want to do!
    BTW- i don’t know who’s giving the thumbs down, but it’s not me! i only TD if it’s an invalid answer (not related to my question).
    Jessie: that’s a good idea about the get-together after the wedding! She’s having her bachelorette in chicago because she thinks this is going to be her last big hurrah for the rest of her life or something! We can do a married gals overnight or something! (I can plan for it in advanced and save up.. I saved a lot for this wedding, but it hasn’t been enough, plus like i said, an unexpected surgery happened)
    BTW- I am booking the hotel room for the night today. If my hubby had his way, we would leave the reception early and go home. (my family tends to get pretty wild during events- drinking and all and my hubby HATES it! I’m more forgiving than he is.)
    For the record, all my bridesmaids lived in town, except for my best friend who lived out of state. She did not attend my showers or anything, and I totally understood! I was very greatful she attended my wedding and was willing to be my maid of honor! I was the same for her wedding as well and I tried to do as much or more than she did for me! My dresses were 0 each, which I know was pricy but that was the only thing I asked of my wedding party. I didn’t quibble about little things like shoes (had them wear whatever they wanted that was comfortable for them but still dressy) and as bor my bachelorette party, it was at my house and my cousin put it on for me. I didn’t whine about whether or not it was something i wanted. I wasn’t really expecting one to be quite honest and was excited my cousin did this for me! I invited 250 guests, and 180 attended. I wasn’t disapointed in the least! in fact, i feel bad because i don’t remember who was there and who wasn’t! haha
    Nova Queen- I agree, when your attendance count is required for costs, sure backing out sucks! But to get mad at someone for simply declining, well that’s plain rude. I tried talking to her about her additude and “selfishness” although i didn’t put it that bluntly. we ended up in a HUGE fight and my family backed HER up!?!? So i’ve backed off, done what i can and not saying much anymore. I feel so lost in the shuffle, ya know? I know it’s not about me in the least but goodness, I’ve never seen so much DRAMA in my life! lol i’m just glad i have a good head on my shoulders at least. I just wish she would realise it’s more about the marriage and the comittment to each other than the wedding or the parties! Sometimes i wonder if she’s more in love with the wedding idea than the marriage?
    Tricia G- EXACTLY!!!!!! =)
    Thank you so much everyone! I LOVE my sister very much and i really hate that a wedding, something supposed to be joyous and fun has turned into a drama that I can’t even seem to be excited for anymore. I know my sis is stressed with finishing nursing school too, and I really want to help, but she gets controlling and then decides what i did wasn’t exactly what she wanted. She puts more stress on herself this way and i can’t calm her down =( I really have a hard time choosing a best answer here!!!! Thank you EVERYONE for listening and taking the time to answer!

    • ANSWER:
      Whoa that was a lot to read, but I tried!

      Your sister sounds selfish. I know the type to post such personal statuses on Facebook as a passive aggressive attack and to gain sympathy. It’s just lame and pathetic.

      People can’t just stop everything for a wedding, and if they do, it’s for one day, not multiple days. Some people won’t be able to make it to a wedding, that’s life.

      I can really relate to your question, going through plenty of drama myself with my sister’s wedding in two months. It is insane how selfish and catty people can become. It really sucks.

  50. QUESTION:
    What should a guy wear as a guest to a wedding?
    My husband and I are attending a wedding tomorrow and we’re not sure what he should wear. The invitation does not state what the attire should be, but it is a church wedding at 2 pm on a Saturday.
    Can he wear a pair of nice slacks with a button down short sleeve shirt? Should he wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt? Does he need to wear a jacket (even though it’s summer in south Texas?) Neither one of us are very fashion savvy, so we’re both kind of clueless!
    We’re not extremely close with the couple and it’s the night before, so we can’t really give them a call and ask.
    Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      Dress like you were going to church. Better yet like you were going to a job interview!
      You never know who you will meet there.


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