Frequently Asked Questions

1. QUESTION:
   wedding speaches?
   i need to prepare a wedding speach

   • ANSWER:
     If you are the best man/maid of honor you want your speech/toast to include
     -How long you’ve been friends and how you met
     -A funny story of you guys getting into trouble
     -How lucky she or he is to find their other half
     -Wish him/her luck, happiness, (or whatever adjective you like) for many more years to come

     I’ve had to give a few toasts as Maid of honor. Don’t try to wing it. Whatever you write make sure it fits onto a 3×5 index card (and it fits in the pocket or purse). That way it isn’t too long and you won’t forget what you are wanting to say.
     Below are a few sites to help you out. The cover everything from funny to sincere to quotes you can use. Good luck.

2. QUESTION:
   what is the traditional order for speaches at a wedding reception? father of the bride, groom, bestman?

   • ANSWER:
     It depends on how you want the flow would be…
     A suggestion would be: Asking the Father of the Bride/Groom to welcome the guests at the start of the reception. Then Bestman for the toast, last is the groom & bride to give their final thank you speech.

     There are cases wherein, the Father of the Bride speaks at the middle of the reception, after the traditional ceremonies (cutting of cake, toast, garter, etc) – its like formally giving her away. To be followed by Father of the Groom – welcoming the bride to his family. But the Bestman speech is always during the Toast. He is the one doing the Toast for the couple. The groom’s speech is usually at the end of the reception.

     Hope i was helpful

3. QUESTION:
   can you please give me a list of how the speaches run at a wedding reception from who goes first to last?

   • ANSWER:
     If memory serves, first the father of the Bride, then the Groom and then the Best Man.

4. QUESTION:
   I have a cd with audio from the speaches given at my wedding…..?
   and I was wondering how and or where I can put it, and then embed it on my myspace Page. Is this even possible?

   • ANSWER:
     First you have to rip the audio from the CD into either MP3 or another format. You can use Windows Media Player to rip the CD into MP3 or WMA format.

     Once ripped, you need to upload the audio to your myspace profile and you are set.

     If you prefer other formats, you can use Winamp to rip to M4A format.

5. QUESTION:
   Wedding advise?
   My partner and I want to get married next year. We would like a civil service late afternoon, going staight into an evening buffet (really dont want sit down meal too). If I miss out the sit down meal I am going to bypass some of the main feature of a wedding day such as speaches and toasts. We are thinking of booking a local manor house who will cater for the sevice and the evening do. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to fit speeches etc into the evening do without it seeming tacky “drunk dad on the stage” kind of thing? Also the only problem with the whole “manor house” idea is that they do not offer a particularly appetizing buffet- its a very basic batches, sausage rolls and cheese and tomato pizza- some nicer things are available at an extra cost per head but considering I am not having a meal I would have hoped for something nicer as my buffet options? I am wondering if I shoud just do reg office and book hall and caterers seperately? Please advise peeps!? xx
   Money not really an issue I just would rather spend the extra on a nice honeymoon. Plus we have been together for nearly 8 years and have 2 kids so it’s not all that magical anymore, we have just been putting it off for too long! I hate the sit down meal idea and travelling between venues is a ball ache too!

   • ANSWER:
     Advice :- Dont do it you crazy fool!!!! Look what has happened to me, lol!
     Anyway on a serious note, I personally would book separate venues, i.e reg office then go on to somewhere afterwards. If you have a sort of formal start to your buffet then do the whole party/disco bit you could always do the speeches and bits at the beginning. That way nobody would be canned up (apart from you probably, oh and Dave) and it would be a great start to a very realxed and fun evening for everyone. I think people get far too wound up with tradition and being all hoity toity at weddings. I know someone who got married and cant even name some of the people on her wedding piccies (you know who I mean). All because future mum in law had far too much say in who was invited!
     Do the whole day exactly as you both want it and basically be selfish. We spend our entire life doing what others want but this is your day, really enjoy it. I have loads of regrets about my wedding day (shockingly, not who I married though).
     I do agree though that there should be a nicer buffet option as you are not having the sit down meal. Lots of places do really nice buffet choices, its a case of looking around mate.
     Not been there myself but loads of people recommend The Millers, in Twycross. I know its a bit far out but they do civil services there too.
     Whatever you do or wherever you get hitched i’m sure you, partner and luvvly babies will have a great day!
     Chat soon missus lady.

6. QUESTION:
   When planning a wedding…?
   I have about 6 months and I have been looking at checklists and they have things like:

   wedding receptions
   photographers
   florists
   musicians
   cateres
   transportations
   rentals
   insurance
   order of service sheets
   gifts for those in the wedding
   seating plans
   dinners
   speaches
   etc.

   is all this necessary? im beginnig to get over whelmed and need help. we dont really have the money for all that. is there any way we can cut costs??? help please. if you can tell me your personal experiences with weddings and if youve had one what you had at your wedding..im worried that since we’re goin to try and do alot of it ourselves that it wont turn out great

   • ANSWER:

7. QUESTION:
   im making a speach for my aunts wedding do you have any ideas of a speach?
   like goo speaches please no comments thank you

   • ANSWER:
     Not sure, as I do not have a clue about the background of you and aunt’s relationship. However, I would suggest a few key points:

     -What an influence your aunt has had on you growing up
     -Your initial thoughts upon her introducing her husband to you and your family
     -Your wishes for them & their lives together

     …and throw a little joke in there or something to make everyone laugh/smile. You might want to end with a toast as well. Good luck!

8. QUESTION:
   What kind of stereo do I need to entertain 75 guests?
   I am having a wedding in the middle of no where. I looked into DJ’s but to have them come way out there was going to cost me a fortune. So, I asked a friend to be in charge of the music and my husband and I made a bunch of mixed cd’s with our fav. music on them and one with our ceremony music in order and another for our dances(father-daughter, first dance, ect…) Now all I need is a stereo to play them on. It’s about 75 people and we need a mic for the speaches and the preacher. But I have no idea what is enough or to much. I want it to sound good, serve the purpose but not cost a fortune. Help me please.

   • ANSWER:
     Major electronic retailers sell package deals that include the receiver/amp and speakers. Add to this a DVD player with Karaoke capability. They usually come with a microphone.

     The link below is just an example of what less than 0 can buy you. If you spend some time you could find a better deal.

     http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8274592&type=product&cmp=++&id=1171057792054

     One other possibility is to buy a stereo system from a pawn shop. That will save even more money.

9. QUESTION:
   My sisters wedding is this Sat. i would like to do sothing special for her and her hubby 2 be what should i do
   i’m not really good with speaches!

   • ANSWER:
     how about a honeymoon return gift!

     Make sure you have a key to their place. When they are gone, like the day before they get home go tidy up, go grocery shopping and get some of their favorite foods to have in the house, set the table for a cnadle lit dinner for two and leave a lighter near by, and make a dinner or buy take out and leave it in the fridge with heating instructions

     That way when they get home they have one less thing to worry about!

10. QUESTION:
    Church wedding without real religious service?
    I have been thinking today after I put up an earlier post about not wanting to get pushed into having a church wedding.

    I was wondering if it was possible to have a wedding in the church (greek orthodox) and cut out most (if not all) of the prayers and other religious speaches.

    I have been to weddings there before and I found when they translated it to english it was all about the women obeying her husband….I don’t want that.

    The other reason why I don’t want a church wedding is because I want it to be very clear that my man and I are marrying for love and not because we fear jesus and don’t want to sin..does that make sense…we are getting married purely because of love.

    It will be better in the church if it rains and the mother-in-law will be happier.

    • ANSWER:
      There is so much wrong with this…

      You should, under no circumstances, have a wedding in a Greek Orthodox Church. You don’t understand what it means, obviously, and as such it would almost be sacrilege. If you don’t want Christ as part of your marriage don’t barge into His house and make up a pretty PC speech in order to show how you’re married.

      Besides they probably wouldn’t let you. If you’re getting married Orthodox, you’ll get the Orthodox Marriage Liturgy and that’s that. They’re like Catholics in this; Do it yourself home religion and lituriges are not allowed.

11. QUESTION:
    Is there something wrong about this wedding ceremony?
    Sorry its long

    So here’s the deal, Last saturday I was a Groomsman in a wedding for my friends. I was roomates with the Groom and good friends with the Bride. First of all the Groom is from England and does not have a green card yet. They are both 20 years old. the Grooms sister got married last month. The Bride was adopted at 13.

    That is the info you need to know to answer if this seems wierd. No one cried at the wedding, the closest was the Best Man. There was no “if this couple should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.” Neither parents made a speach at the reception, only the best man and the made of honor made speaches. And finally when they were giving their vows, they were looking at the preacher and at the crowd just as much as they were looking into each others eyes (I would expect a couple geting married to be locked onto each other’s eyes.) I know they love each other, and they are very cute together.

    Is this wierd or am I overracting?

    • ANSWER:
      I think you’re overreacting. It doesn’t sound weird to me.

      No one cried at the wedding, the closest was the Best Man.
      – I cry at everything … except weddings. Go figure. It depends on the individuals.

      There was no “if this couple should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”
      – I’ve never heard that at a wedding except in the movies.

      Neither parents made a speach at the reception, only the best man and the made of honor made speaches.
      – I’ve never heard the parents make a speech either, only the best man or maid of honor.

      And finally when they were giving their vows, they were looking at the preacher and at the crowd just as much as they were looking into each others eyes (I would expect a couple geting married to be locked onto each other’s eyes.)
      – That’s a little unusual, but some people aren’t comfortable with making eye contact. Maybe they are two of those people. Maybe they were supposed to look at the crowd for the photographer.

12. QUESTION:
    Would this be ok for a general wedding timeline?
    I always wanted a full sit down dinner at my wedding but these days you’re looking at between – 0 per person (for dinner,dessert,drinks). That’s heaps! I dont know if my partner and I can afford that!

    So, what im thinking is this:

    - Ceremony – mid to late afternoon.
    - Bridal party have photos and meet up with imidiate family for dinner.
    - Meal while, guest go off an have their own dinner.
    - We all meet up at about 8/8:30pm and sit down for dessert,coffee,drinks and dancing.

    I would plan quite an extravagant dessert selection and would still have a first dance and a father/daughter dance, speaches etc.

    What do you think? Do you think its a bit cheap? Do you think guests will mind having to do their own thing for dinner?
    I really want to do something at night…so we can dance the night away!

    If I have to compromise on the dinner, I dont want to have to compromise on the time. I want something at night….bit wierd dancing during the morning.

    I cant expect people to take too much time off of work – week day wedding would be too hard. I dont mind the idea of an afternoon wedding with an afternoon tea…that would be good.

    Then immediate family and birdal party ONLY could go for dinner…that could work!
    ps. Im in Australia. We have family spead across several states so we will be having the wedding in a different state to where we live, a state that is a central location for everyone attending….so 90% of guest will have to travel to get there…
    Getting Stronger Every Day –
    Thats a good idea – we could have dinner seperatly…(eg. I would have dinner with my mum, mum in law and bridesmaids)…then have a late ceremony, followed by a dessert night! Thatd be fun!
    Stephanie….Thanks for all your ideas!

    I really like the idea of having a dessert reception…but if we have a late ceremony and go to the respection straight away…when do we do photos?

    We could do our individual photos before the wedding but when do we do the the couple/bridal party photos?

    Could we leave the reception for an hour?

    I would have preferred out door photos – at sunset….hmm.

    There is so much to consider!!

    • ANSWER:
      OH NO! You can’t do this! I’m sorry but this isn’t a good idea. Your guests won’t like having to leave and come back hours later, especially if they’ve travelled from out of town and don’t know the area.
      Based on the fact that you really want to have dancing and such, a dessert reception would be perfect for you!

      — The Dessert Reception —
      Best held later in the evening (like around 8pm). Because of the time of night, it is perfect for dancing away into the wee-hours!
      Avoid doing this around dinner time hours of 5-6:30pm as guests will arrive expecting a full meal.
      A dessert reception is perfect for getting people to mingle, as it is less of a sit-down type thing. Serve the desserts buffet style with small portions of everything so people can sample a bunch of everything. Also, you’ll want to include a couple savory items so your guests don’t go into a sugar coma! (Think a cheese display, fruit, etc.) Note: Wedding cake is still expected, however you can save money on that because people won’t be eating as much of it as they would at a regular dinner reception. Keep portions small!
      To avoid long lines, make sure to set things up around the room so its not one line feeding the whole place… otherwise you run into a “traffic jam” kind of situation.
      Also, because this is a more mingle-friendly event, you should plan for seats to accommodate about 65% of your guests.
      Informing guests: Important! To ensure guests don’t arrive starving and expecting a full meal, you should phrase the invites like this: “Dessert reception immediately following the ceremony”

      My best friend is doing a dessert reception too! They can be so much fun!

      Congrats and best of luck with your wedding plans! Feel free to zap me an email any time and I’ll be more than happy to help!!

      EDIT:
      As far as the photos issue, you have a few options. I suggest talking with your photographer and ask them their opinion too. Since its late in the evening, you want to think about where your photos will be. As soon as the ceremony is done, you and your hubby and bridal party/parents run off and do photos, just as you would during a regular dinner reception while everyone else is having cocktails.
      Your other option (which gives you more time with your guests) is to get some of the posed, group photos out of the way before the ceremony even starts — that is, if you’re ok with seeing your man before the ceremony. This option will give you more daylight for photos too! If you’re considering seeing your hubby-to-be before the ceremony but don’t want to miss out on that moment when you first see him then consider this — you can have a great private moment before the ceremony where you see each other for the first time and share some private words… it could be really sweet and romantic. And then you could also have your sunset photos!

13. QUESTION:
    Im my dads bestman at his wedding,?
    I hate public speaking but need to write a bestman speach.
    I cant write speaches to save my life. PLEASE HELP.

    • ANSWER:

14. QUESTION:
    GIRLS ONLY** Good wedding speeches???!!?
    My dad is getting married! im young anyone got good ideas for speaches?

    • ANSWER:
      I think that the best outline for a speech is:
      1. State your relationship to the bride and groom
      2. Share a story of the one your closest to (your dad)
      3. Compliment that person on how wonderful they are
      4. Address their now spouse
      5. End it with a congratulations and good luck

      So it would go something like this

      Hello everyone, I thank you all for coming out to my fathers wonderful wedding. My name is _(your name)___ and I am (your dads name) son. Growing up my father has always shared his love with me. He has given me strength, courage, and wisdom. I know that with all my father has done for me that _(spouses name)__ is in great hands. The love they share is admirable. I only hope one day to find the love that they have found with each other. I welcome you to the family. And I wish you both happiness to last a lifetime.

      Of course you can embellish it, make it more you. The more personal you make it the better it comes out to be. Just speak from your heart, and say what you mean and mean what you say. Good Luck!

15. QUESTION:
    Wedding is stepmother treated same as mother?
    What i mean is that my mother died a few year ago and i dont like the woman my dad married. i am getting married soon and does his new wife have the same treatment as a mother of the bride would. i.e. presented with flowers after speaches, sit on the top table?
    Thank you to all for your answers,
    Just to clarify, she is not in any way a mother role to me, in a way she pushed me out of my home when she moved in and does not speak to me unless i speak to her first.
    Cinders, thank you so much. it makes perfect sence to raise a glass to my mother and to the others who said i had to involve her for my dads sake. Although she will not be escorted down the isle and will receive a smaller set of flowers than the grooms mother, she will, never the less receive some.

    • ANSWER:

16. QUESTION:
    Is it rude to invite the parents and 1 child, but not another?
    I’m marrying in May and am having a very big wedding.

    My cousin and her husband will be attending. They have 2 children, one is 13 and the other is 3 months. The thing is the youngest child I am having at my wedding will be 1 and she is my daughter. I really don’t think it’d be right to invite the 3 month old because he is a fuss budget and he is always crying. I don’t want to sound stuck up, but he will really ruin my wedding, expecially since several speaches are being made.

    I am not sending them an invite since I see them all the time. Would it be rude to say that just my cousin, her husband and 13 year old could come, but the 3 month old is not welcome? I would be happy to provide child care the day of the wedding as I am for all of my friends and family with children under 1.

    Is it rude to do this? And if it is, should I even invite them at all? HELP!
    It’s just since he’s a small baby, I don’t find it best he’s at my wedding. And the child care will be in another room across from the reception.
    I’m not just talking the whole cermony, I mean the reception too. I will be providing food and formula for the babies.
    Even so, he will still be a baby and I think that he would benefit from the child care.
    Yes there will be about three others. Ages then: 2 months, 6 months and 11 months. And we have 2 woman to watch them.
    She actually knows one of the woman.
    Lydia, they WON’T have to leave him at home. Child care is provided!

    • ANSWER:
      I don’t think it’s rude to not want crying babies at your wedding, I would be the same.
      Just tell your cousin that they are all invited but you are not having any young children besides your own there so she would need to leave her youngest at the child care room like all the other parents are doing before the ceremony starts and she can check on him in between the ceremony and reception.
      I can see how some people will think this is rude, their kids being unwelcome and all, but since you are having the same rule for everyone and have a good reason for it, I think it is fair enough, especially since you are providing child care too. The parents will probably be glad to have their young kids looked after for a few hours while they enjoy themselves.

17. QUESTION:
    the order of the service?
    basically we have rented a place, its not specifically for weddings.. but its beautiful.. we are going to have wedding and reception in the same place.. however we don’t know how exactly to plan how its supposed to go..
    what is the typical order of service for a wedding.. eg what order are the speaches, cutting of the cake etc..
    we want to try fit everything into about 4 hrs
    i’m so confused?

    • ANSWER:
      Wedding Reception Schedule

      While every wedding reception is a little different, each having its own atmosphere, as the bride and groom, it is important that regardless of what you have planned that you have it organized. This means knowing what will be served, who was invited, who is working, how much you are paying, the time the reception will start and end, what band is playing, the type of music being played and every aspect of this event.

      You will need to determine a schedule for your specific reception based on the number of guests, whether it is a sit-down meal, buffet, or simply desserts, if there will be live music, and so on. However, to give you an idea of what you might expect, we have put together a mock schedule for you. Keep in mind that there will be variances between this example and your own reception but this is a good guideline. Additionally, for a reception including music and food, it will last about four hours. For this example, we will say the event will start at 4:00 p.m.

      From 4:00 to 5:00 p.m., you can use this hour as a cocktail hour. During this time, your guests will enjoy a couple of drinks, snack on appetizers, and visit with other guests. Setting the cocktail hour up can be done in a separate room or included in the main reception hall. Additionally, you can choose to include music at this time if you like.

      At 5:00 p.m., the bride and groom will enter the reception after having the photographs done. At this time, they are officially announced as husband and wife. Additionally, they will enjoy their first dance together as a married couple, many times walking straight onto the dance floor.

      From 5:15 to 5:30 p.m., the couple will enjoy a drink, becoming settled into their place at the wedding table.

      5:45 to 6:00 p.m., the toasts will occur for the newly married couple. The Best Man always starts, followed by the Maid of Honor and then responded to by the bride and groom. Other people offering a toast might include the parents and other members of the wedding party.

      6:00 to 8:00 p.m., everyone will enjoy time on the dance floor, eating, and mingling. Also included in this time slot is the tossing of the garter and bridal bouquet, cake cutting, and any other special traditions you want included.

      8:10 p.m., the guests are now all served their slice of wedding cake or other desserts chosen for the reception. During this time, dancing is still available and people are visiting with one another.

      8:50 p.m., the band or DJ plays the last song and guests begin to leave the reception.

      9:00 to 9:15 p.m., the bride and groom say their goodbyes and head out the door to the limo, on the way to their honeymoon, the remaining guests leave, the parents or designated person loads up the wedding gifts for safe keeping, the caterers clean up, and the minister or designated person turns off the lights and locks up.

18. QUESTION:
    Hillary’s last speach?
    I was just watching Hillary’s latest speach. The whole thing reminds of the scene in Shrek-1, the wedding scene at the end, where there is guy with cards in his hands prompting people to ‘sigh’ or laugh or say ‘aahhh’.
    She seems so fake, everything she says, all her gestures, same as George Bush.
    So , here’s my question, are Ameriacn people getting used to this showman ship? speaches being written by speach writers and the politicians just reading it and try to ‘deliver’ the speach? What’s the truth and honesty in that? Or is that not required any more?
    Watching Hillary’s speach, it doesn’t seem to bother people the slightest bit that she’s reading all her comments from a sheet in front of her and tries to act like she means it by using hand gestures and her body language. They still buy it and applaude.
    l left the US years ago, and have been watching the politics and even the media turning into a circus.
    The impression I get from ourtside is that no one cares anymore.
    Comment?
    Ok, people, I am NOT a Hillary hater. So stop nagging me with that.
    I am refering to the state of things in general in the US politics. where a speech (thank you whoever for correcting me) writer decides what is to be said. I mean, doesn’t that strike you as a little strange that george Bush is saying something that some one else wrote for him? He’s the pres of the most powerful nation on this planet for pete sake, and some one tells him what to say in his public speeches? Isn’t that at least a little wacked?

    • ANSWER:
      Yeap, country’s gone to dogs!
      And to think that we are trying to export our democracy! What a joke?! It’s a failed one if you ask me. How can we have a moron like GWB in the office in a country of 300,000,000. If that’s not a sign that our democracy is not working i don’t know what is then.
      I’m bailing out too. C YA.

19. QUESTION:
    when to open gifts at the reception?
    I am not having a gift opening the day after the wedding (that’s the popular option in my family)
    I am looking for good ideas on when to open gifts at the reception. the schedule for the receptioin so far looks like this:
    entrance
    introducing bridal party and out of town guests
    dinner
    cake cutting
    dessert
    speaches/toasts
    first dance
    dancing to the end of the night

    so where can I put gift opening while keeping a nice flow of events?
    wow, I should clarify that in my circle of friends and family people actually want to see the recipient of a gift open it. they want to see what everyone else got the couple. If the night ended and the gifts were left unopened with the intent to open them in private people would be offended.

    • ANSWER:
      First off just dont open gifts as if it were a birthday party. Let the party of your reception continue. Just you and your husband just mozey on over and open a gift or two at a time and then thank the person that brought the gift. People wants you to see you open it, so let them. I dont think its a horrible idea. I would open the gifts as the last part of your schedule. Maybe alot of your reception people will start to leave. You schedule looks great. so on your schedule, put dancing to the end of the night/open gifts.

20. QUESTION:
    what is the title for what she does. PLEASE HELP.?
    so all of my sisters friends have been getting married latley. ever since she was about 16 she would translate at weddings from portuguese to english. people started asking her more and more to go up and translate for the american guest present at the wedding. Her friends also ask her to do their hair and make-up as well. she is quiet good. She actuatly did my friends and my own hair&makeup for prom.

    i figured that she should start doing this as a job to help her make her own money.

    but ofcourse for someone to respect a person to do a job, that person would need to have thier own title.
    SO WHAT COULD BE A PROFESSIONAL TITLE FOR A GIRL WHO.
    does
    makeup
    hair
    help plan events
    translates
    prepares speaches (vows etc.)
    help clients shop
    and much more
    shes an all around girl who could do anything, thats why i need to find a specific title for her…..

    please help me out !!!!!!!!!!

    • ANSWER:
      I don’t think she would be a full-time event planner, but I think “Bilingual Event Consultant” would be a good title for her. Make sure she charges enough for her services for it to be worth her time. Wedding and event consultants usually charge anywhere from an hour for consultations and basic planning, to upwards of ,000 for the day. She should research wedding and event planner’s websites and look at pricing in her area to compare.

      A lot of wedding and event planners are from different creative backgrounds. For example, one may specialize in graphic design, and design the couple’s invitations. One may be a florist, and offers her floral services as part of her package. I think “event consultant” is good because it covers a lot of ground, as in the hair, make-up, coordination, speech writing but is also very professional at the same time, which will ad credibility to her services. She could charge per hour for advice or vendor recommendations, or she could charge per project, which would be better for speech writing or hair and make-up.

      If this girl is really talented and knows a lot of vendors in the area, and is really good at what she does, this could be a great part-time business for her on nights and weekends. After that, it could boom into a full-time business for her.

21. QUESTION:
    wedding speaches?

    • ANSWER:
      yeah