Frequently Asked Questions

1. QUESTION:
   What are some traditional wedding vows or sites with some examples?
   I’m getting married in april and my grandfather, a notary, is officiating the wedding. he’s out of date on the wedding vows- he used to do religious. we want non-religious, maybe just a prayer and a short verse (ie love is patient, love is kind, or something along those lines). we just want traditional, nothing too flashy, and not a whole lot of prayers, and we definitely dont wont mushy- so no writing our own. please give us some ideas, i’m lost!

   • ANSWER:
     Traditional Wedding Vows
     Examples of Wedding Vows That Are Timeless Classics

     Traditional Wedding Vows 1:
     I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

     Traditional Wedding Vows 2:
     I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

     Traditional Wedding Vows 3 (traditional civil ceremony vows):
     (Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

     Traditional Wedding Vows 4:
     I, (name), take you, (name), to be my beloved (wife/husband), to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.

2. QUESTION:
   Where can I find examples of humorous wedding vows?

   • ANSWER:
     My friends had a Dr Suess themed wedding, and their vows were something like this:

     http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/SeussFunnyVows.htm

3. QUESTION:
   how do i find examples of wedding vows

   • ANSWER:
     myweddingvows.com or, just google how to write wedding vows and you can find hundreds! Good luck, we had a great time writing our and making them personalized to us! Congratulations!

4. QUESTION:
   what are some examples of personal wedding vows?

   • ANSWER:
     an example would be just like in my wedding, I had always called my husband to be (JOE) “My valiant White knight” when I read my vows, which we both wrote our own, I read ” I take you, My Valiant White Knight” is this what you were referring to?

5. QUESTION:
   My fiance and I aren’t really religious. Where can I find examples of wedding vows that we could use?

   Thanks to everyone that gave sincere answers.

   • ANSWER:
     You can easily adapt any vows to your style.

     Here’s one example:

     These things I promise I will do
     That life may grant you ample grace
     Because I love and cherish you:

     I vow to treasure what is true
     That I might touch whom I embrace:
     These things I promise I will do.

     I’ll build a garden in your view
     That with sweet fruit will stone replace
     Because I love and cherish you.

     I vow to love each day anew,
     For love must dance through time and space:
     These things I promise I will do.

     I vow to make your terrors few
     And then with you those demons face
     Because I love and cherish you.

     And now, as we make one of two,
     A passage we cannot retrace,
     These things I promise I will do
     Because I love and cherish you.

6. QUESTION:
   what are examples of notary wedding vows?

   • ANSWER:
     they are the same as any other wedding vows except they will probably not say things like “holy” matrimony but just “matrimony” and there will not be any prayers or blessings said. but the vows are the same and many notaries will allow the couple to write their own vows.

7. QUESTION:
   I am having a hard time writing my wedding vows. Please advise where I can find some personal examples?
   Everyhting I have found has been way to formal…

   • ANSWER:
     Most couple?s feel that their love is truly unique, a special bond between the two of them that no one else will ever experience in quite the same way. They?re right. Writing your own views can be an intensely moving and intimate way to create a ceremony that truly reflects the way you feel about each other.
     Before you can effectively express your feelings, you?ll need to identify them. It?s Important to talk to each other about your marriage, discussing your beliefs, dreams, and expectations. Take notes on this conversation and use it as the foundation for building your own custom made vows. Once you identify the things that are the most important to you, then you can decide how best to express them.
     Here are some questions to get you started
     ? When and where did you first meet?
     ? What was the state of your life before the two of you met?
     ? At what point did you realize you were in love? Describe the feeling.
     ? What inspires you about your loved one?
     ? What life goals and dreams do you share?
     ? What have you learned from each other?
     ? What qualities make your love unique? What qualities will keep it strong?
     ? How has your view of the world changed since you fell in love?
     ? What do you most look forward to about life with this person?
     ? What are some special moments in your relationship, either happy or sad, humorous or profound?

     IMPORTANT TIPS!

     The vows themselves should only take two or three minutes to say to one another. This is a public declaration of your commitment, not a private conversation between the two of you.

     Don?t embarrass your friends and family with details that are too intimate or lengthy.

     Sincerity is the key; the words should come from your heart.

     Decide whether or not the two of you will recite the same vows or different ones.

     Incorporate your wedding guests into your vows by having them responded with their blessings and support.

     Discuss your personal vows with your officiant beforehand.

     Read your vows out loud, which is a surprisingly effective way to catch errors, glitches, or awkward phrasing.

     Additional thoughts on your commitment to marriage may be expressed in the main body of the ceremony or through the use of special poems and prayers

8. QUESTION:
   does anyone know where I can find examples for wedding stuff?
   im looking for a website that can show me some examples of wedding stuff such as invites, vows, etc. I need these websites because i know a couple little kids who like to play wedding and they want to have a big thing with dresses and invites and stuff like that.

   • ANSWER:

9. QUESTION:
   Wedding vows – “Do you…”, “Will you…”, or “Wilt thou”?
   Are there any rules or tendencies about in what situations the minister asks “Do you…”, “Will you…”, or “Wilt thou…” for wedding vows? For example, are there differences between US and UK, Protestant or Catholic, royal or common? What was your case?

   Background of my question:
   I had always thought questions starting with “Do you…” followed by “I do” answers were more common based on what I learned from foreign (mostly American) movies/dramas (I’m Japanese). But a friend of mine who watched the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton pointed out that they said “I will” in the vows. I confirmed that the questions asked by the Archbishop were “Wilt thou…” by reading the transcript of their vows. We’d like to know how people differentiate these questions and answers.

   I posted a similar question in the language category before, but all I received was one answer saying “Do you…” is more traditional. I’d appreciate more answers from more people.
   Thank you, Ange Kenos and truefirstedition.
   So…
   are they more traditional in the descending order of “Wilt thou” > “Do you”> “Will you”?
   …and my another question is whether people don’t necessarily have to use the same word in the question and the answer, that is, the royal couple answered with “will” even when the questions were asked with “wilt”. Don’t these word have to match?

   • ANSWER:
     It’s legally binding no matter what words you say. Talk it over with your fiance and agree on what words are more meaningful for the two of you personally. It’s all about what you want to hear.

10. QUESTION:
    What does one say (in korean) as wedding vows if they’re having a nontraditional korean wedding?
    My family is Korean, my fiance is not. We would like to say some vows in korean, out of respect for my side of the family since the wedding is all in english. We’re not religious or traditional, and couldn’t find examples online. My korean is not good enough for me to come up with vows that doesn’t sound stupid so if people have suggestions or websites I could visit, that’ll be great.

    • ANSWER:
      ok this is the most common one.

      “이 반지를 징표로, (yi ban ji rul jing pyo ro)
      “With this ring I Thee wed,

      우리 두사람은 죽음이 우리를 갈라놓을 때까지
      (uri doo sa ram eun juk em yi uri rul gal la not eul ddae gga ji)
      for better or for worse,

      기쁘거나 슬프거나, 잘 살거나 못 살거나, 아프거나 건강하거나
      (gi bbu guh nah sul poo guh na, jal sal guh na, mot sal guh nah,
      ah poo guh na gun gang ha guh na)
      for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health,

      서로 함께 합니다.”
      till death do we part.”
      (suh ro hahm ggae hup ni da)

11. QUESTION:
    Help! Anyone write their own wedding vows?
    I’d like some examples of custom wedding vows. Anyone write their own wedding vows? If so, what did they say? I just need some ideas, as I am not satisfied with the traditional: “In the name of God, I, __ take you, __ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. This is my solemn vow.” All input welcome, thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      I am not much of a creative writer, so I had a friend of mine write our vows. She is quite amazing when it comes to writing, ans she came up with what I thought were beautiful vows. Here’s a part of it (we had a pirate-themed wedding, this is why the vows are about the sea):

      “For centuries, sailors have fallen in love with the sea and in many ways; the sea is much like love itself. It is in a state of constant change, motion and evolution, forever adapting to its environment. And yet at the same time, like love, the sea is ancient and unchanging.

      William Shakespeare wrote “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

      And like the sea, love inspires us with its beauty, comforts us with its gentleness, awes us with its strength and challenges us with its tempests.

      Like the waves of the ocean, love has its highs and lows. You will go through many of them in a lifetime of marriage. Remember that one wave is a fleeting as another and that all of them will one day pass.

      Cherish every high point and every day that your sea sparkles in the sunlight. Remember them as you help each other weather dark and difficult storms together.

      Marriage is the bond of loyalty that will give you the strength and determination to weather the storms that will inevitably come.

      Marriage makes a crew of two individuals and becomes the ship that will carry them over the highest waves and safely across the deepest seas.

      Like any ship, a marriage must be cared for. Of the many duties that demand time in your lives, prioritize none of them above tending to this ship that is your marriage. Make time to give it the care it needs, treating both the sea and the ship with the awe and respect that both deserve.

      A well-tended ship will stay afloat and weather the storms of her passage. Whereas a ship that has been ignored and left to decay cannot withstand the challenges of the sea and will eventually break apart.

      Let your ship be the example that others look to and may the care of this ship not be a chore to you, but a labor of your love.”

      Etc, on to the part where we swear to be with each other til one of us is lost to the Davy Jones Locker and all that good stuff.

      Maybe you have a friend who’s a good writer, you could ask them to help you!

12. QUESTION:
    What are some wedding vows for Romeo and Juliet?
    I don’t really know how it should be done because I don’t really understand the way they talk so I was wondering if anyone had some examples or guidelines?? Thanks!!!

    • ANSWER:
      Look up the Roman Catholic rite of matrimony, in Latin. That’s what they would have had. There were no “innovations”, such as writing your own vows, permitted to a sacred rite.

      Did your teacher actually assign this? Worst Romeo and Juliet assignment EVER. You can tell her I said so.

13. QUESTION:
    Ladies: What would are the most romantic verses/ wedding vows you can imagine your man saying to you?
    on your wedding day? If he wrote them for you, what would you hope they would be?

    give an example.

    • ANSWER:
      That he could never picture kissing any one else, BUT ME!. That I am the only person that can make him laugh as hard as I do. That I am the only person he can never have a silent moment with. How we never go to bed on time becuase we never can stop talking. How he can not stand to be away from me. That love at first sight.

      That he never knew he could love someone so much. That he take care of me, never well, their be a day when he lets me be sad. That I compliment him bring out the best of him. Make him happy! That I make him want to be a better person. Also say ” he sees me being the person he is old with.” That I be the last person he kisses till his last breath. Also for him to say ”I spent my whole life looking for you.” ”Your the greatest gift god has given me.”

      I hope he say I was more than a dream girl to him. I more than he could imagine. That he gives himself to me completely heart and soul. That he put me above everyone else. He never stop caring for me even if I was to come to tragedy. That he protect and respect me; laugh at my jokes even when they are not funny. Also he trust me with his life.

      I want to bullied a life with you and a dream with you. I know I well find paradise with you. Your a part of me. Looking at you is like standing at heavens gate.You bring color into the world. You complete me! I look in your eyes the world stands still. I see my unborn children in your eyes. Blah, blah, love lines. I would like him to ask me ”if I reciprocate in being faithful, cherishing him, trusting him”? Of course I would say yes.

      Some times the best things words can not express. I covered everything I think I want in a relationship. Mine kind of jejune but I imagine it be more poetic, if I had reference ,inside jokes. Marriage is eons away for me! Something I do not have to worry about anytime soon. Are you getting married?

14. QUESTION:
    what to wedding vows consist of?
    what exactly do you say when you write your vows can i have some examples i know you are supose to tell what you feel for the person but do you all know any examples?

    • ANSWER:
      No, it’s not about what you feel.
      It is a contract that you both agree to follow.
      It’s about what you can and can’t do.
      It’s a promise.
      A vow is a solemn promise.

      Like: “until death do us part”.
      This means, no divorce.
      We will stay together until one of us dies.

      I like the old style traditional vows.
      Let me see if I can find them.

      Traditional:
      I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.

      Modern traditional:
      I, (name), take you, (name), to be my beloved (wife/husband), to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.

      Some vows have: “forsaking all others” in them, that means no cheating.

      Some traditional vows also have something about: “to love, honor and obey” but many women don’t like the word “obey”, but the “honor” part is a good one.

      Ok, I found some more:

      Traditional Wedding Vows with the Question of Intention:
      Officiant: “[Groom’s name], do you take [Bride’s Name] to be your wedded wife to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?”

      Groom: “I do.”

      Officiant: “[Wife’s name], do you take [Groom’s Name] to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?”

      Bride: “I do.”

      Officiant – Identifies the power investing in him/her then: “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

      Make a good agreement that you both like, then STICK to it!
      (Forever)!!

15. QUESTION:
    Pronouncing Polish Wedding Vows?
    I am getting married in Krakow, Poland next month and as part of my preparation for the wedding I would like to learn the Polish wedding vows. My wife to be is polish and I would like to be able to pronouce the wedding vows correctly. I have searched the internet for examples but have not been able to find anything. I have seen how it is written in Polish but appreciate that pronoucing the vows is completely different.

    Any help would be welcome!

    Thank you

    • ANSWER:
      Is it going to be Catholic or civil wedding? The vow texts are different in both cases.

      (word accent in UPPERCASE, logical clauses in following rows)

      1. Church wedding

      Full text (prompted by a priest): “Ja … [your name in Nominative case] biorę Ciebie… [bride's name in Accusative case] za żonę i ślubuję Ci miłość, wierność i uczciwość małżeńską oraz to że Cię nie opuszczę aż do śmierci. Tak mi dopomóż Panie Boże Wszechmogący w Trójcy Jedyny i Wszyscy Święci. ”

      Pronunciation:
      yah [name]
      BYAUreh CHAbyeh [bride's name] zaZHAUneh
      eeshlooBOOyehchi MEEwoshch
      VYERnoshch
      ee oochCHEEvoshch mowZHENskom
      orasTAU
      zhechenye opOOSHcheh
      azhdoSHMYERchee
      takmee dauPAUmoosh
      PAnyeh BAUzhef shehmauGONtsy
      fTROOYtsy yeDYny
      ee fSHIStsy SHFYENtshee

      when exchanging rings:

      ” [bride's name in Vocative case] przyjmij tę obrączkę jako znak mojej miłości i wierności, w imię Ojca i Syna i Ducha Świętego.”

      [name] PSHEEmee tayobRAUNCHkeh
      YAco ZNUCK moyey meeWOSHchi eevyerNOSHchi
      VEEmyeh OYtsah
      eeSYnah
      eeDOOhash fyenTAYgo

      2. Civil wedding

      Text (prompted by an official): “Świadomy praw i obowiązków wynikających z założenia rodziny, uroczyście oświadczam, że wstępuje w związek małżeński z [...bride's forename in Instrumental case] i przyrzekam, że uczynię wszystko aby nasze małżeństwo, było zgodne, szczęśliwe i trwałe.”

      shvyaDOmy PRAfee oboVYONskoof
      vinicaYONtsih zawauZHENya roJEEni
      oorauCHISHche oshFYATchum
      zhe fstemPOOyaf ZVYONzack mowZHENskis
      [bride's name]
      eepsheeZHEcum
      zhe ooCHInyef SHISco
      abiNAshe mowZHENstfau
      BEEwau ZGAUDnah
      shchen SHLEEvah
      eetr VAweh

      –
      There should be no disaster if you get this that way! Good luck!

16. QUESTION:
    I need some wording examples for a wedding ceremony?
    I need wording examples for opening words of a non religious ceremony. A friend is performing the wedding and needs a little momre “filler” We only have bout 5 minutes worth of content so far. Please help! (we are writing our own vows, and am also curious if you are still supposed to say “i do”

    • ANSWER:
      Who presents this woman to be married to this man?

      You may be seated.

      Greetings! We have been invited to hear David and Tammy as they promise to face the future together, accepting that whatever may lie ahead, will lie ahead for them together. For the world that God has created for them, with all its beauty, all of its grace, with the strength that it offers and the peace that it brings, makes them truly grateful.

      On this day, David and Tammy, the day of your marriage, you are standing somewhat apart from the rest of us as a symbol of the open expression of your love. This is as it should be, but love is not meant to be the possession of two people alone. Rather it should be the source of a common energy, which gives you the strength to live your lives with joy, happiness and with courage.

      Marriage is an evolving idea that continuously unfolds. To the ancients, the union of a man and a woman was symbolic of the creation of all life. Throughout history, to many people marriage symbolized the conjunction, or myth of unification, of the divine forces. It was also the reconciliation of opposites as seen in the yin-yang symbol. This symbol of complementarity portrays the perfect balance of the two great forces of the universe, each flowing into the other and each containing the seed of the other. In the same way, your marriage is the balancing of your individuality as well as a celebration of togetherness.

      It is a wonderful thing that David and Tammy have fallen in love, that they feel so good about one another, so delighted and encouraged, so known and supported, that they have chosen to risk love for life. To take the great emotional trapeze leap and link up with one another, in mid air, and in mid flight. It is a great transformation for the individual, a courageous act, this affirmation. “Yes, I take this person to be my partner in life, to share all my experiences, to be my teacher, my student, my companion and my friend.”

      Marriage is a fusion of two hearts, the union of two lives, which after being joined in marriage, will flow in the same channel in the same direction…carrying the same burdens and obligation. The unity of marriage is the very foundation of family life…and so in forming this union, David and Tammy are beginning a new family as well as strengthening and perpetuating their historical family.

      True marriage is more than the legal joining of two persons. In its right relation, it is the uniting of two souls already attuned to each other. What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life? To strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain. To celebrate together, walk together, laugh together, love together for a lifetime.

      When such a true bond already exists between a man and a woman, it is fitting that an outer acknowledgment be made. This acknowledgment is the reason of this gathering and this ceremony. We are here to bear witness to the entry into the closer relationship of husband and wife of these beloved friends who are already one in spirit.

      You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in all the world whom you love best. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities, and to share love.

      Romance is play, but true love is intention. It is their intention to love for life; that is what we are celebrating today. For it is also a celebration for the rest of us. For it is also a pleasure to see love in bloom, to participate in this wedding of two people so delightfully suited to one another. It lifts our spirits to be in the presence of such a love, to bask in the sweet energies of these two people who so obviously adore one another, who want to play together, laugh together and walk together for a lifetime. Love with infinite hope, love untarnished, that is the gift that David and Tammy give us.

      Therefore, we thank you! You have brightened our day. Your optimism is an inspiration. Your daring is exhilarating. Thank you for letting us celebrate with you. Thank you for showing us that love can bloom, that marriage is a worthy enterprise, and that happy high-minded people are still overjoyed to undertake it. In this world which can be so troubled and which can appear to be so fragile, it is in acts such as marriage that we see the continuing force of human good, the power of love which is truly our guide.

      Change the names as you like…

17. QUESTION:
    alternating lines wedding vows help!?
    I’m trying to write vows for my wedding, and recently I came across an example where the bride and groom said their vows to each other, alternating lines between bride and groom. This is it:

    Tommy:  I vow to love you.
    Tessa:  I vow to love you.
    Tommy:  To be your best friend.
    Tessa: To be your biggest fan and most solid supporter.
    Tommy:  To kiss you everyday.
    Tessa:  To embrace you everyday.
    Tommy: To keep our dreams alive.
    Tessa:  To take you on a hundred adventures.
    Tommy:  To encourage your passions.
    Tessa:  To cherish your heart.
    Tommy:  Do you vow to be my wife?
    Tessa: I do. 
    Do you vow to be my husband?
    Tommy:  I do.

    I really like this idea, and think it is really sweet. I am trying to find more examples but have had no luck… can you help me find some more examples? Also, do you like this idea of alternating lines or not?

    • ANSWER:
      i like it sort of..

      the only things i don’t like.. is you have to talk about kind of the same things for them to make sense..
      and your spouse will know your exact vows before your up there saying them, which i also don’t like much.

      BUT if you like it that’s all that matters.

      why don’t you just work o it with your spouse..
      talk about the 4 or 5 most important things to the both of you in your marriage and work with those things to put it in your vows..
      so instead of loving you, bring your best friend, kissing you, keeping your dreams alive, and encouraging your passions..
      it would be what you guys find most important.

      ALSO i think if you want to add i vow to love you.. i think it would be more touching right before do you vow to be me husband/wife.

18. QUESTION:
    looking for a few cheesy wedding vows….?
    got some lame assignment for school where i have to write wedding vows, i really dont know how so im looking for some examples. please and thanks

    • ANSWER:
      I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

      I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.

      In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

      I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

      In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

      I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.

      I, [name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.

      I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

      After both have said individual vows, they may wish to say something in unison such as:

      Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.

19. QUESTION:
    Shouldn’t you be counseled before you make the wedding vows?
    Sort of like smoking or drinking or getting an abortion… shouldn’t they tell you the worst case scenarios, or show you pictures of fat married slobs? Shouldn’t they say… “hey, when we say better or worse, you should know that most people end up closer to worse, and here are some examples….”

    • ANSWER:
      haha. We needed a quick wedding,(I was pregnant) and called about 10 pastors. Only 1 would marry us without counseling.
      If we would’ve gone through counseling, I honestly think I would’ve told my husband,”I think we’re marrying for the wrong reasons”

20. QUESTION:
    I recently went to a wedding and it got me thinking about vows, not traditional. share your thoughts =]?
    I recently attended my auntys wedding. she is a very traditional lady, (old fashioned also), and decided to just keep with the traditional vows. for better for worse bla bla bla, and to be quite honest, it was actually a little boring.

    So tell me, what do you prefer?
    And also, what are some vows you have come up with or shared with your partner? Give me some examples i think its just BEAUTIFUL

    love x

    • ANSWER:
      Our chaplain actually had us stick to the traditional (right from the book) vows, but we also were able to say our own “vows” after we’d spoken the vows of matrimony (but before he’d pronounced us married).

      Frankly, while it is kind of boring to watch, it REALLY comes down to a few things: (A) is the person who’s performing the ceremony going to ALLOW non-traditional vows? (B) do you REALLY want to write them yourself? It is a HUGE stress you don’t necessarily need along with all the other stuff going on. (C) in the end, does it REALLY matter? Many couples find that one partner or the other just isn’t “into” the whole personal vows thing, and THAT creates even more stress.

21. QUESTION:
    The divorce rate is soaring to70%, do you still believe in matrimonies or should wedding vows be re-written?
    All the hooplas in wedding preparations and the cost of it, is overwhelming to most of us. The matrimony and wedding vows becomes insignificant unless you need the marriage certicates for legal reasons, like one of you, need to show it to the INS.
    What other reason do you need marriage certificates for? Your vows can be defied by the court system whenever one of you decides to change your spouse. It just add to complications in divorce court.
    Have you known any one that hasn’t gone thru a divorce? Well, the court system no longer advise marriage counseling’s, instead, they promote and allows false accusations for better grounds for divorce.
    A good example is the famous “domestic violence” charge. The word “violence” is vastly define as simply raising an eyebrow. That can mean hostility. No one can intimidate another during marriages. Don’t be surprise that marriages ended up in court everyday with any silly incident but are magnified and exagerated 50% of the time.

    • ANSWER:
      Hmm. I am assuming you are writing this from the perspective of living in America? It isn’t quite that bad here in UK…yet.
      I do not like the way that marriage, which is a religious ceremony – and as such, should have NOTHING to do with LAW(!) – is required for certain reasons beyond the joining of two people whom are in love.
      I would welcome the separation of marriage and law and would welcome the rewriting of vows as the only thing I can say about anything to do with religion these days is that it keeps people apart, forces sides, promotes insecurity and false hopes and least of all…is the cause of most wars in the land.

22. QUESTION:
    Short and non-religious wedding vows?
    Any examples?
    LOL, HeyDonny

    • ANSWER:
      A cute idea is to each write your vows on a scroll and then have you maid of honor hand you yours at the time and the best man hand him his. Then you can roll it down and keep it simple and sweet, but it’s not too mushy. A line from a poem is good to throw in there as well. I loved the line from one of the sex and the city episodes. It went something like this…

      ‘You’re then in the morning, there in the evening. There in the good times, there in the bad times. There in my thoughts, there in my dreams. But most of all my darling, you’re there in my heart.’

      (I edited it just a little

23. QUESTION:
    What is the true meaning of a wedding?
    I have been searching all over the internet and have come up w/ nothing… I sometimes find like 10 word sentences. I am looking for the true meaning of having a wedding. For example, why does the man and woman stand before everyone and recite their vows… what all this means, in the simplest terms….anyone have any good cites or know of where I can find something?

    • ANSWER:
      …it’s actually referring to the “3″ ring circus of matrimony… First, comes the Engagement Ring… then comes the Wedding Ring, and then comes the “Suffer’Ring” !!!!

24. QUESTION:
    Where can i find a website or book that has a complete non religious example of wedding ceremonies?
    I am having a hard time finding a template or ideas for full ceremonies. I am virtually creating our own vows but am looking for ideas in certain areas. If you know of any books or websites that gives examples of a full ceremonies from beginning to end that is non- religious that would be great!
    Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      Hey, I’m a wedding celebrant, and I can tell you from experience there are many websites that have example ceremonies for civil weddings.

      I’ll post some in the source list below. – Just something that a lot of people don’t know, in a ceremony, regardless of how much YOU, the couple, put into it, there are certain requirements that the celebrant will need to add, by law.

      Good luck on your beautiful wedding.

25. QUESTION:
    Any ideas for a fun wedding processional for a nontraditional wedding?
    I am having a nontraditional wedding in March. I’m not having a flower girl or ring bearer, we’re not getting married in a church, very non-traditional vows, and a pastor is not marrying us, are some examples. I saw the video on youtube with the wedding party dancing down the aisle and thought it was the neatest, most beautiful thing I’ve seen. I would like to do something creative like that, but am stumped and can’t think of anything…any ideas?

    • ANSWER:
      Why not do exactly that? It’s the first one that pops up so it’s easy for you to find. So what if some guests have seen it on Youtube? No one has seen it live.

      This really depends on what you are doing. Non-traditional isn’t enough details. Do you have much of a bridal party? Would they be comfortable doing that?

      Look up wedding processional on youtube and you get 226 things. Use one of those songs. Do you and your fiance have a song you particularly like? Or something that is important?

      I mean non traditional wedding….does that mean you are wiccan? alternate spirtual beliefs? Perhaps pick a song that has something to do with that.

      I think it’s an awesome and unique thing to do. But it will ONLY work if your bridal party is that kind of people. If they are awkward or don’t want to really give it into the dance, it’s just gonna look like crap.

26. QUESTION:
    Role-playing a wedding marriage with my friend.?
    Give me some ideas of what i should do.
    For example, me and her are writing fictional wedding vows. We are giving each other some type of ring. and we are taking lots of pictures.
    What kind of poses do you recommend for the pictures?

    • ANSWER:
      and people wonder why divorce rate is so high. No man can live up to this expectations.

27. QUESTION:
    websites for a wedding vow like this?
    Alright so my Fiancee and I agreed we want vows in a way where we dont say anything, basically the minister says it all and just asks us if we take eachother to be wife/husband and we say “I do” i was curious if there were any websites that had good vows like this for examples? we both have a bit of stage fright and would really like to just have to say “I do” lol

    • ANSWER:

28. QUESTION:
    When a guy says this.. What do you think?
    Okay i have been dating this guy for a little over a month now. But we have known each other for about 4 months. We have both fallen pretty hard for each other and you can tell by the way we talk to each other. But like most couples we have our little pointless fights.

    Like he tells me he loves me everyday. And sometimes he even recites the wedding vows (example: ’til death do us part). And we have both been the people to get broken up in past relationships, we never did the breaking up. We even said that we can see each other ten years from now happily married with kids. I have fallen pretty hard. What do you think about him? Does it sound like he has fallen for me too? (besides the fact that he has said it)

    • ANSWER:
      Yeah I’m sure for whatever your age is at (sorry but I’m guessing you are young, HS or JHS) that this “love” that you think you have is not really love…not trying to rain on your parade, because I truly think for the age level you are at you care about eachother very much. Like 2% of people marry people they dated before college, so chances are no, you won’t get married, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an amazing lovely relationship! Just enjoy how it’s going, and yes he has fallen for you!

29. QUESTION:
    What are instructions a priest gives to a bride and groom, promises from the bride to the groom vice versa? ?
    After reading a midsummer night’s dream by Shakespeare my English class was assigned to write wedding vows for the triple wedding at the end of the play. One of the parts of the assignment is to write instructions from the the priest to the brides and grooms, and I need examples. I am also supposed to write the commission/response and I’m not sure what that is. Then I need to write promises from the brides to the grooms and vice versa. Any ideas?

    • ANSWER:
      during elizabethian times, there was a great deal of talking done during the ceremony by the wedding officiants….who would have either been a catholic priest or a church of england minister for the most part, although there were also some lutherans, and other minor denominational ministers and jewish rabbis as well.

      here is an example of the wedding ceremony taken from the church of england’s book of common prayer during that time period. you will need to wade through the old english spelling but you can figure it out.

      the commission/response is going to be the “do you (name) take…” said by the officiant and the response “i do” …any thing the officiant asks the couple which requires a response.

      http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/elizabethian.htm

30. QUESTION:
    Lookin for Wedding Vow Ideas?
    We are getting married in hawaii and just decided to write our own vows. Does anyone who has done this already have any ideas or tips? perhaps an example? I am very nervous and not sure of what to write. I want it to be unique. Thank you in advance for your ideas.

    • ANSWER:
      First off find what is peronsal to you! I know I have looked at Native American, fiction novel, hawiian, and other peoples vows and used them to mix in with my own. There are also a lot of sights that give tips:

      http://www.myweddingvows.com/

      http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/PersonalizeVows.htm

      http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/20-tips-for-writing-your-own-wedding-vows.aspx?MsdVisit=1

      Also talk to your family members mother, father, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles etc talk to them about what is important to them involving love! You may get some ideas.
      Do a flow chart like you would back in school to help with writters block! Put a big circle with the word, “Wedding vows” in the middle then small circles connecting to it with what a wedding vow means to you. AKA “love” commitment, happiness, trials, reconciliation, future, past, journey, etc!
      If this doesn’t help email me and I can give you a TON more!!

31. QUESTION:
    Background music for wedding video?
    I am looking for suggestions for background music with no vocals. For example the video is mixed with photos and music is needed for the journey to church, then something else for vows, speeches and photo shoots at reception. I have found something good on you-tube by Miranda Wong, she does piano wedding music. This sort of thing would be ideal but she is an amateur you-tube user and the sound quality isn’t good enough unfortunately. so if anyone can point me toward an instrumental nice sounding album similar to that i would be great full! Thanks in advance!

    • ANSWER:
      Would it have to be piano music? There are lots of lovely clasical guitar cd’s which make ideal backing music as it’s not too intrusive. Classic FM have launched a CD recently that’s not too expensive. I got it for my husband who is a guitarist and it has classical guitar pieces and more modern 20th Century ones. Please see the link below.

      http://hmv.com/hmvweb/simpleSearch.do?searchUID=&pGroupID=3&adultFlag=false&simpleSearchString=classic+fm+guitar&primaryID=3&btnSubmitSearch.x=13&btnSubmitSearch.y=5

      There is also a john williams (the guitarist!) cinema serenade cd which has some beautiful pieces with orchestra too which would work well.

      http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cinema-Serenade/dp/B0000267KU

      If you really wanted piano then I’m sure classic fm have produced their own cd of piano music which would include songs similar to Miranda Wong. Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for

32. QUESTION:
    Wedding vow renewal on 14th anniversary after 2 year separation. Ideas and help?
    My husband and I were separated for 2 years and our divorce was almost completed….the only step left to complete was the final hearing. We have since decided to get back together and would like to have a vow-renewal ceremony on our 14th anniversary (Nov. 2). There are things I’d like to include this time around that I didn’t do the first time, such as have my hair and makeup done, release butterflies at the ceremony, etc…. I’ve looked at some sites already, but I’m looking for more DOs and DON’TS…..and suggestions….I want this to be a really neat and memorable occasion, but I don’t want it to be socially unacceptable in any way (for example, I know that it’s inappropriate to ask for gifts at a vow renewal). What is acceptable to do? We plan to get new rings as we both pawned our originals, having not planned on getting back together! LOL We want our 9 year old daughter and 7 year old son to be involved, but we’re not sure exactly how…..our daughter has always wanted to be a flower girl and has never had the opportunity….would that be OK? Any ideas and input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      A casual wedding at a park, at the beach or in the backyard would be wonderful, especially with the butterflies.

      Of course, your children should be involved, flower girl and ring bearer are perfect.

      We also included our children in our ceremony, and married as a family. We all got rings and pledged to the family as a whole.

      Gifts are not important, and I would leave that up to the guests. I would not even mention it.

      The most important thing is your vows, let the kids have a line to say also. After all, they are a part of the ceremony and should be included.

      The reception should be your choice, how much do you want to spend? Simple is easy, less expensive and less stressful, but is depends on what you can afford.

      Make sure you include the kids in the ceremony.

      Best wishes.

33. QUESTION:
    Dutch Catholic Wedding?
    I have been searching for information on this for a while now and I just can’t find the right facts. What I am trying to find out is: what are the vows like (example if possible), attire, reception (if there is one), symbol of love (trading of rings if so what hand). I have looked at tons of sites on “dutch wedding traditions” and they all say the same thing…couple sits on throne and the guest come up and wish them the best etc. What are modern touches that happen. Is it like the American wedding; groom waits in the front, bride in white, walks down with the father, instrumental procession? Please be as specific as possible. Thanks to anybody that answers.

    If you have had a catholic Dutch wedding just summarize what happened at your wedding; if you don’t mind. thanks
    Thanks for that bit of info. You said any other catholic wedding. I have only been to 3 weddings in my life and they were all a different religion and one was not catholic so that leaves me more knowledgeless (is that a word?)

    • ANSWER:
      I do not know about Dutch customs.

      But I believe Catholic Marriage vows are about the same all over the world except in language.

      Here are the usual Catholic marriage vows in English.

      + Marriage Vows +

      I (…), take you (…) to be my husband/wife.
      I promise to be true to you
      in good times and in bad,
      in sickness and in health.
      I will love you and honor you
      all the days of my life.

      Or

      I (…), take you (…) for my lawful husband/wife,
      to have and to hold,
      from this day forward,
      for better, for worse,
      for richer, for poorer,
      in sickness and in health,
      until death do us part.

      Or

      In the name of God,
      I (…) take you (…) to be my husband/wife,
      to have and to hold
      from this day forward,
      for better, for worse,
      for richer, for poorer,
      in sickness and in health,
      to love and to cherish,
      until we are parted by death.
      This is my solemn vow.

      Notice there is nothing about ‘obeying.’

      + Exchange of Rings +

      (…), take this ring
      as a sign of my love and fidelity.
      In the name of the Father,
      and of the Son,
      and of the Holy Spirit.

      With love in Christ.

34. QUESTION:
    Can someone please explain to me the whole process of a catholic wedding?
    I am getting married this August to my Marine [Semper Fi `OORAH!]. And I need to know all the process of the ceremony, for example when do you light the unity candles and when are the vows said. I need everything you can tell me. I just want everything to be perfect. Thank you so much.

    • ANSWER:
      Hi.

      You can just have a regular service….you don’t need to have a Mass, so don’t listen to people who tell you they are sooooo long (Catholic weddings). Mine was a total of 20 minutes!

      The unity candle (as with all weddings) is lit after the vows.
      If you are having a short service (no Mass), then you will walk up the aisle….a few prayers….a few readings…then the sermon….then the vows….the candle…maybe a solo (if you want one)…..then the final blessing….then you are done! Walk down the aisle, pictures….party!

35. QUESTION:
    how do i remove stored key words from my search bar?
    when using most search engines, they save your keywords used while searching and they pop up whenever the first letter is typed in. for example if i put in “w” it will bring up “wedding ring, wedding vows,etc.” what if my lady sees this and it spoils the surprize?

    • ANSWER:
      You can delete the history of search bar on ur homepage (whatever it is either Yahoo! or Google) by following this path. Tools> internet options> content> auto complete> clear forms. To stop the generation of history uncheck the box of forms.

      You can delete the search history on ur yahoo toolbar this way. click the arrow in the search box. Select options, click clear history. Follow this path also. Pencil> toolbar options> uncheck the boxes of enable auto complete and enable history> ok.

      To delete address bar history, follow this path. Tools> internet options> general > clear history > set the number of days to zero> ok.
      To know more please visit the following links.

      http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/ysearch/indexing/indexing-13.html

      http://search.msn.com.my/docs/siteowner.aspx?t=SEARCH_WEBMASTER_REF_RemoveSite.htm

      http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/toolbar/basics/toolbar-10.html

      It will solve your all search related problems.

36. QUESTION:
    When renewing your vows…?
    What are some things you can and cant do, compared to your first wedding? For example, can you register for gifts, do the money dance, have a bridal shower? Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      I’ve been to only one vow renewal and they had none of the pre-wedding parties. No showers, no registering for gifts. You are simply renewing what you did however many years ago. What you can do is have a nice ceremony and a nice reception afterwards and invite all of your family and friends and just have a great time.

37. QUESTION:
    Not close to family-wedding ideas?
    Ok, Im not close to my family. Luckily, my parents are coming. My fiances mom is not coming. So, we dont want to do any ‘unity candles’ or anything that is symbolizing ‘families uniting”. I have seen couples do like, sand being poured into a vase. For example, I have pink sand, he has blue, and we pour it together at same time and it makes a pattern and we keep it forever. I dont wanna do that either. Anyone have ideas of things we can do at our wedding? Right now, we got the vows and soem music. We also dont want live singers. The only thing we have special is a slideshow with a song playing. Anything else we can do to fill some time at our wedding or somethign symbolic? We are baptist by the way.
    Thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      If you want something else, you could have your minister say a prayer over your marriage. I have seen that at many weddings. You could also have a poem recited that has meaning for you. Remember, the more stuff you have going on the longer you have to stand up in front with everyone staring at you. A song may only be 3 or 4 minutes but it seems like forever when you are standing there. God Bless your life together.

38. QUESTION:
    What do I do about his meddling mother?
    My boyfriend & I have been together for over a year now, and have discussed marriage. (He’s 23 and I’m 31) His parents have done a lot for us, including lending us money.(They are quite well off financially.) His mom likes me, or at least I THINK she does. She’s the type who readily speaks her mind. I knew that from the start and I don’t fault her for that. She is frank with both of us, for the most part.

    My problem is that there are times I think she is way out of line when dealing with my boyfriend (her son). For example, his parents gave him a cell phone to use (they pay the bill). If he doesn’t answer it when his mother calls him, sometimes she’ll leave him nasty messages such as “We pay for your cell phone, the least you could do is answer when I call.” For the most part, he always answers his phone. But at work, or while asleep, or even when the phone is dead and needs to be charged, he can’t answer it.

    Another example: He received a check in the mail that was addressed to his parents house and I happened to be there when the check arrived. He owed his mother a couple of hundred dollars so she says to me ” I’m opening it to see how much it is”. I immediately told her “you can’t do that, it’s addressed to him!” Her reply was “what is he going to do about it? He owes me money anyway.”

    He recently decided to join the military, which requires basic training for several months. She insisted he not do it. She tried every tactic possible to talk him out of it. She sneered at him “you need to pass a mental health evaluation before they will accept you”. (I was pissed when she said that to him. But kept quiet). She also tried putting him on a MAJOR guilt trip telling him his timing to join the military is horrible because his gram is ill…..also that he is going to miss his parents renewing their wedding vows due to basic training. Because of those two things, she tells him he is selfish not to have taken that into consideration.

    He has told his mother off because of how she acts. To which she says “we help you out and this is how you treat us?” Don’t come to me asking for help again if this is how you treat me!”

    I don’t deny that his mom/dad have helped us out a great deal. But I don’t think it gives mom the right to control his life! Since we’re not married, I feel I have no right to say anything to his mom. And if I did say anything to her, I would get a response of “well, don’t come to us asking for help when you need it”. (Not to mention it would cause WW3).

    • ANSWER:
      first of all I think YOU need to mind your own business. It sounds like you decided to date an immature, irresponsible, young boy. If he doesn’t want his mother’s help or advice or opinions, he needs to grow up and be a man and stop borrowing money from his parents and pay for his own cell phone. Has it occurred to you that maybe she’s trying to teach him how to be responsible? Maybe YOU should start paying his phone bill and loaning him money and then you can tell your boyfriend to tell his mother to leave him alone. Soon he will not answer your phone calls (that you are now paying for, hypothetically) and not paying you back and you will probably begin acting the same way his mother did because he is a bum. He hasn’t learned how to be a man yet so if you choose to date a boy, stay out of him and his parents business.

39. QUESTION:
    How does a wedding go?
    I know how a wedding goes and things like that, but my friend is going to make a fake wedding, but she wants it to be real, she will make one with her boyfriend and she wants it to be realistic and she wants to know what it is like to get married. I am looking for answers like how its set-up for example:

    #1. Shares their vows
    #2. Exchange the rings

    I know those aren’t the first two steps of how the whole wedding it set up. lets say u only have the first step and the sixth step it would still help me! Any steps DURING the wedding would help, I don’t need how to make it before a wedding but Please help however you can with the steps DURING a wedding. Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      Wedding ceremonies will be different depending on whether they are in a church, what the sepciofic religious traditions are, or whether it is a civil ceremony and what are some specific things the bride and groom want to include. The basic outline is

      Prelude – families, mothers are seated during a song
      Processional – bridesmaids and bride walk down the aisle
      Greeting – the officiant will welcome all the guests and say a few words about marriage
      Exchange of vows- bride and groom will say their vows (optional unity candle, sand ceremony or special song in between vows and rings)
      Blessing and exchange of rings
      Closing words or prayer by the officiant
      Presentation of the couple
      Recessional

      http://www.perfect-wedding-day.com/wedding-ceremony.html

      http://www.foreverwed1.com/articles/ceremony/

40. QUESTION:
    ok so im gunna be a preacher at a sort of wedding, wat exactly do i say for the “do u take this woman as ur br
    like the vows thing i kno i have them say thier vows ut wat do i say where ican i find lists of examples

    for u know when i say ” do u (name) take (name) to be ur lawfully wedded eife forever ……” and so on and then vice versa for the bride like where do i find good examples of that part of the speech

    • ANSWER:
      What, how can you officiate this ceremony and not know what you are doing? I’m confused here. Is this your first wedding, because there are ceremony books that you SHOULD have.

41. QUESTION:
    How would we communicate if we all spoke to each other in metaphors and double talk like Jesus used?
    For example, how many days would it take to get through wedding vows using Jesus talk?
    someanbu….Frankly, no!
    batgirl….Do you know what a metaphor is?
    I doubt it.

    • ANSWER:
      The Bible is a book! When reading a book, one should expect a different kind of talk, you know what I’m sayin’?
      (After seing the asker’s comment)
      Of course you don’t know what I am saying! You have a problem understanding written texts, that’s all.
      Seriously, now, the Bible is for the Christians. If you’re not one, why bother understanding what Jesus said?

42. QUESTION:
    For everyone who is either married or plans on being married: some questions.?
    (Warning: If you’re too lazy to read a long question, don’t bother answering. You’d be better off in P&S.)

    First state your religion, then please answer the following:
    1. Did you or would you use traditional wedding vows? What do you think of the “love, honor, and obey” part of the woman’s vow, whereas with the man the word “obey” isn’t there?

    2. Did you/would you be walked down the aisle with your father, or have you wife walked down with hers? Does the symbolism of this bother you, or do you just write it off as tradition?

    3. Along those lines: what do you think about the man asking the woman’s father for permission to marry her?

    4. When you are pronounced man and wife and introduced as such to the audience, how did you or would you like to be introduced? Examples being: “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,” “John and Jane Smith,” etc.

    I’m wondering everyone’s feelings on wedding traditions, and how (if at all) your religious background influenced your views.
    One of my best friends is getting married and I just got off the phone listening to her rant about those four things for at least an hour straight. Don’t worry, I’m still a confirmed life long bachelorette.

    • ANSWER:
      I’m an atheist.

      1. I would use vows that were already written, but there’s NO way the word “obey” would be in them. It makes my skin crawl.
      2. Well, not with Dad. I would like to be walked down by either my brother, mother or one of my uncles.
      3. I think it’s kind of endearing to ask for permission. I think it’s more symbolic and it doesn’t carry a lot of weight any more, but it’s sweet.
      4. I would be OK with being referred to as “Mr & Mrs”. I don’t look at it as ownership – it further solidifies the partnership. But that’s just me.

43. QUESTION:
    GUYS AND GIRLS: What is your dream wedding?
    So I absolutely LOVE weddings. and I’m 14. I don’t plane on getting married soon, but I just think it’s fun to dream about my perfect wedding. So… I would love to here some of your wedding dreams, whether you are gonna be the groom or the bride. No matter what age, and you can write as much or as little as you want. I can’t wait to read them! Thanks you guys! And my favorite will get the ten points, I guess.
    Here is my wedding dream. I know it’s long, sorry! I hope you read it and comment on it, but you don’t have to. here it is:
    I think about it all the time. I don’t plan on getting married til I’m like 28 though because I want to experience life and stuff. but anyways, I want to get married in the summer, like june, my favorite month and birthday month, or july. Not sure, want it somewhere like Peurto Rico or hawaii or something but I really want to be on the beach because that is where I feel the most comfortable and at peace, you might say, so most likely at a resort. It is going to be less than 100 people, just everyone that I am close to. I just picture white sand and blue waters. I don’t know if I can, but I want to be able to block off that section of the beach so people aren’t like running around and stuff during the ceremony. I love soulful r&b music so instead of the wedding march I want to have someone sing one of my favorite love songs from the 90′s. I don’t want a long ceremony, maybe like 30-45 minutes. I want my bouquet and all the flowers to be orchids, and maybe a few lilies. I want the table center pieces to be those vases with water and orchids in them. I’ve always wanted my wedding dress to be a ball gown but because it is a beach wedding I am thinking about changing it from something like this: http://www.elegantweddingdressesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/organza-beaded-strapless-neckline-with-ball-gown-skirt-top-seller-2010-new-wedding-dress-wm-0247.jpg or this: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.ybridal.com/media/catalog/product/cache/4/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/f/i/file_188.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.ybridal.com/wedding-dresses/ball-gown-wedding-dresses/ball-gown-strapless-chapel-train-tulle-embroidery-wedding-dress.html&h=850&w=600&sz=31&tbnid=ej76MUs2ml1QZM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=64&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dwedding%2Bdress%2Bball%2Bgown%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=wedding+dress+ball+gown&usg=__lXDLeQY33qTR_dlOZSdPmHR1i3o=&sa=X&ei=Q8oOTpiLKdTdgQfz4YTPDQ&ved=0CD4Q9QEwAg to this: http://www.bridalgownsonsale.com/chiffon-strapless-soft-neckline-with-rouched-bodice-and-slim-sheath-slit-skirt-2011-fashion-custom-made-informal-wedding-dress-wm-0420-2814.html just for example but i know I want shoes like these to go under my dress because pink is my favorite color!: http://www.patriciafield.com/bordello–p… . I don’t want a veil, I want my hair to be in a cute messy bun with a flower pin or part up part down type thing, curly/wavy. Then my bridesmaids will have on dresses that are turquoise/teal/aqua and/or pink(because of the water and my fav color) depending on my hubby because I do want him to have input. And then after the ceremony I want the reception to go on on the beach or in a nice banquet hall I guess until sun down. But if it is on the beach, I want it under those big white tents and I want all my wedding pictures to be on the beach outside. Oh and this might sound kind of cheesy, but I have always imagined my husband being a singer and singing a song like this to me( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq2rWWRnD… ) for his vows and me singing back( in vows or later on during reception). And then I want it seafood/italian food to be the menu, and then a main cake, and then little cute desserts and stuff for people that don’t like the cake. Then I want to have my first dance to another love song from the 90s then my father daughter dance with me and my dad’s song and then probably another father daughter dance with me and my step dad and then my hubby’s dance with his mom to this ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8KnHK1Ns… ) and I don’t know what yet, but I want to make some type of tribute to my mom and my grandma because they are the most important people in my life. and then after that, just a big party! and if it’s on a resort, everybody will just stay there so no one has anywhere to go! I want it to be like a weekend event, where everybody comes that thursday/friday, we get married on saturday, and then leave on sunday/monday. And I think that’s it! That’s my dream wedding! Told you I thought about it a lot! Is that weird?
    BQ: at what age do you want to get married?
    BQ2: what is the biggest age gap you would have between you and your spouse?
    BQ3: How long would you have to know your spouse before getting married?
    Thanks for all your answers so far you guys! I love them! But just to make sure everyone understands, all of this is a dream and I would be extatic if it came true, but if it didn’t I wouldn’t be upset. The only things I need is the beach, my family, and of course, the love of my life. Like one person said, the rest is decorations. It’s extra, which can be great, but not necessary. I could plan a party like this too, but I just love thinking about and planning the day that I will share with everyone I love and who loves me and will mark the next chapter in my life. Thanks again everyone and keep the answers coming! And thanks to everyone who actually took the time to read my dream wedding story! I know it was a pain in the butt.

    • ANSWER:
      It was my wedding. We married in a beautiful rose garden with close friends and family, acoustic guitar playing us through and I wore my dream wedding gown. The reception was in a gorgeous hall overlooking the garden and a pretty pond with vegan food (something very important to me) and great music. Most importantly I was with the man I loved and my children.

      You have a LOT planned out…that isn’t necessarily bad, but just…be careful. A wedding is between two people who love each other and all the other stuff is just decorations. I married my first husband (the wedding I stated above was my second marriage) at Vegas in a drive-thru wedding; one of the best weekends of my life. Being married to him was all that mattered, and even though it didn’t work out I wouldn’t trade the way we married for the world. I hope you get a great, perfect wedding, but don’t forget about why you are doing it in the first place!

      BQ: I married for the first time at 24 and wasn’t ready. I married for the second time at 26 and was.
      BQ2: I don’t care, there is an 11 year ago gap between my husband and I. 13 year age gap between former husband and I.
      BQ3: I knew my husband 14 months before we tied the knot. I knew my ex-husband 5.5 years before going down the aisle.

44. QUESTION:
    Friends wedding with a Canon 500D?
    I could use some help and advice on best settings to use for a friends wedding. Freebee thank god so if it goes wrong then so be it. I am using a Canon 500D (with 18-55mm lens kit) without any standard extras. Does anyone have any tips. I.e I am going to use M Mode as am very comfortable with changing settings like second nature but could use some advice on best settings to use for the ceremony etc….

    Should I take a custom WB in every lighting condition? What are the best settings to use say if it’s a sunny day in the church and sun beams are striking across the couples faces? Should I use flash or try not to as it maybe distracting during vows etc? Low or high appeture for DOF results? erm…just about anything else anyone could advise on.

    I know I sound like i’m not ready but we all have to start somewhere, friends weddings are a perfect place. Oh yeah and advice on any extras that would be worth it, for example a flashlite maybe?

    Thanks in advance…!!
    Thanks guys I really appreciate your input. Sometimes people need a kick up the backside and given a reality check for things we are not familiar with. I am very experienced in shooting video, graphics and photoediting for over ten years now, but like you say it can count for little in something new like weddings.

    Following your advice and experiences I will be offering for them to get a prefessional in and offer my services to get some secondary shots for them. I quite like capturing moments that are not setup and this would be a nice little extra for them to go with the professional pictures.

    Thank you for the advice, links and tips, it is really appreciated. Like you say the proper gear has to be in place for such a special event.

    Thanks again.

    • ANSWER:
      Impossible to advise you on settings without being there. Some churches are like caves, others are quite bright. Your kit lens might be able to pull it off, or maybe not. My real advice is to tell the couple you are not ready to shoot weddings, don’t have the proper equipment or skills, and offer to help pay for a photographer. Be sure they understand your limitations. Friendships can and have been destroyed over just this very thing. Free or not, they may have unrealistic expectations about your performance. And if you flub it, it will not be a “so be it”, but a catastrophe of major proportions. This is a major do once event, not a trip to the zoo.

      For my two cents, if you are not accustomed to shooting on manual, don’t. Shoot on program and check the histogram. Adjust using exposure compensation. Weddings move fast, and you will have a lot to keep up with to stay attuned with the happenings. It is far too easy to forget to change the settings and not notice. Then you may end up with some important shots being totally unusable. Program should get you in the ballpark. If you shoot RAW, you can make adjustments in post processing.

      By all means, visit the venue during the same lighting and do some tests. Attend the rehearsal. Ask the officiant what is allowed and what is not re where you can be and use of flash. Beg or borrow a backup camera of some kind. Use a high ISO if necessary. Noise is better than blur. Bring a tripod and shoot during the still parts of the ceremony.

      Re the Dof, groups need more, but it can be hairy even shooting one person at large apertures. This stuff is photography 101, and makes me think you ain’t ready. Your kit lens does not go that shallow, but make sure the focus is where it needs to be. Use a middle of the road on the formals, and research “dragging the shutter”.

      Here is my favorite link for first time shooters:

      http://www.rokkorfiles.com/Wedding101-page1.html

      Good luck.

45. QUESTION:
    How can I help my family understand why they won’t be invited to our wedding?
    I’m getting married December 20th and I wil only have my Dad and Stepmum as witnesses.I am not inviting my mother’s side of the family for a number of reasons:

    1. My partner is very shy, hates speaking in front of crowds (i.e vows) and I have a big family as does he, and he would feel uncomfortable with a lot of people there. I feel I should make him as at ease as poss on our wedding day.

    2. My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 2, and throughout my whole life my Mum and her family and told me horrible, malicious things about my Dad that no daughter should ever know. For example: “your Dad’s a cheater, he once slept with a prostitute and came home with crabs! Your Dad said he hates you, why do you even like him? One day I’m going to hospitalise your Dad then you won’t be able to see him.” They have also done things like smashed his windows and his and his new wifes house and slashed the tyres on his car.

    I know that my mum’s family are just very angry but they had no right to tell me the things I did from suh a young age, and I would therefore not feel comfortable having my mum’s family and my dad’s family in the same room. I would be too tense and too anxious that they would start a fight, and no girl should feel like that on their wedding day,. They have pretty much brought it upon themselves, and there is NO WAY they would put it aside just for a day – even if it was my wedding .

    My other worry is the groom’s family. They are nothing but sweet and kind but we will not be inviting them. My partner feels that if we invite them it will harder for my family to take the news that they weren’t invited as opposed to not being invited with just 2 witnesses there. His family are not very traditional and I don’t think it would bother them much I am just wondering how to explain this to them. My family are not the only reason we want a small wedding. We just want it to not be a big deal, we want it to be small and intimate and my partner does not want a lot of people there. We will be taking out my family and his family for a meal a week after the wedding and paying for them (I hope that this will ease the wound a little).

    How do I explain this to both families
    THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING! We are getting married with 2 witnesses (legal req in the UK) and telling them AFTER

    • ANSWER:
      i think the parties afterwards (i hope they are two separate affairs) are the best possible solution you could come up with. and you don´t have to let them know who your witnesses were. just that you got married and that you want to celebrate with them. wish you all the best and i think small weddings are how all weddings should be. i had a big wedding because of my parents and i didn´t enjoy it as much as if it was a small private affair. anyway. stop worrying everything will turn out just fine!

46. QUESTION:
    How can I explain to both of our families that they won’t be invited to our wedding?
    I’m getting married December 20th and I wil only have my Dad and Stepmum as witnesses. We will get married in a registry office (like a courthouse) and just have the legal MINIMUM of 2 witnesses there. We plan to tell my family and the grooms family afterwards.I am not inviting the family for a number of reasons:

    1. My partner is very shy, hates speaking in front of crowds (i.e vows) and I have a big family as does he, and he would feel uncomfortable with a lot of people there. I feel I should make him as at ease as poss on our wedding day. He just doesn’t want it to be a big deal, and he’s entitled to feel that way and I have to respect that.

    2. My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 2, and throughout my whole life my Mum and her family and told me horrible, malicious things about my Dad that no daughter should ever know. For example: “your Dad’s a cheater, he once slept with a prostitute and came home with crabs! Your Dad said he hates you, why do you even like him? One day I’m going to hospitalise your Dad then you won’t be able to see him.” They have also done things like smashed his windows and his and his new wifes house and slashed the tyres on his car. She even told the POLICE that he abused me as a child – which he never ever did or would do! It was just to hurt him.

    I know that my mum’s family are just very angry but they had no right to tell me the things they did from suh a young age, and I would therefore not feel comfortable having my mum’s family and my dad’s family in the same room. I would be too tense and too anxious that they would start a fight, and no girl should feel like that on their wedding day,. They have pretty much brought it upon themselves, and there is NO WAY they would put it aside just for a day – even if it was my wedding. Don’t tell me to LET THIS GO as it’s unforgiveable how much they hurt me and my Dad.

    My other worry is the groom’s family. They are nothing but sweet and kind but we will not be inviting them. My partner feels that if we invite them it will harder for my family to take the news that they weren’t invited as opposed to not being invited with just 2 witnesses there. His family are not very traditional and I don’t think it would bother them much I am just wondering how to explain this to them. My family are not the only reason we want a small wedding. We just want it to not be a big deal, we want it to be small and intimate and my partner does not want a lot of people there. We will be taking out my family and his family for a meal a week after the wedding and paying for them (I hope that this will ease the wound a little).

    How do I explain this to both families

    • ANSWER:
      I can sympathise with your desire for a no-fuss wedding. But just so you won’t be accused of favouring one side of the family, why not invite two people from your husband-to-be’s side to witness as well?

47. QUESTION:
    Waterloo Road on BBC 1?
    I loved this series last year, but have to say it’s getting more and more ridiculous each week! For example:
    What school would allow pupils to get there wedding vows renewed – or even married at that age!
    How can a teacher foster a child?!
    Why weren’t the lads parents at the court with them last night when they were signing their statements against Earl carrying the gun!?
    How can teachers be seen to be conducting their relationships in the corridors!!! Last night they were chatting away totally oblivious to a lad walking around on his mobile!
    How can members of the public just walk in to the school and around the corridors!

    The list goes on… I know it’s entertainment, but come on!!!

    What’s everyone else think?
    I know it’r programme and not real, I am interested in opinions that’s all…If I lived thinking all TV programmes where real I would want to move to Hollyoaks!

    • ANSWER:
      I agree. I thought it was so stupid when Chlo & Donte renewed their vows in school. Also I don’t understand why Chlo & Donte are allowed to have that van outside the school & Chlo can run a hairdressing business when she should be in school learning.

      I thought it was stupid that they didn’t go into much detail on Maxine’s death. I imagined they would have done a funeral or atleast done an assembly in memory of her.

      When Earl was threatening to shoot Maxine Janeece didn’t exactly do much. She just run outside the house and after a while she then decided to ring the police and they took ages to arrive. Typical.

      When Danielle’s farther didn’t want her returning to the school literally the whole school made a big deal. I thought asif that would happen. A few of her friend yeah but not the whole school running out of their lessons. Majority of them probably didn’t even no her.

      I think the story lines are starting to become really unrealistic now.

48. QUESTION:
    Why would ANYONE marry……..?
    ……someone when they KNOW they will cheat?

    Example: A married man has an affair. He gets a divorce, and the person he was cheating with marries him, although she KNOWS he will cheat and will not honor his wedding vows.

    I see it all the time….but don’t understand it…….any ideas?
    OK, guys……the answers all seem a lil onesided…….it’s not ALWAYS the guy who was the married cheater……that was just an example….I wanna hear from guys too

    • ANSWER:
      This is why the person marries a KNOWN cheater…… they think that they will not cheat on them. They think “he/she loves me and I know that they will not cheat on me”. “I know how to handle my business and that’s why I have him/her.” But what they forget is “IF THEY WILL CHEAT WITH YOU, THEY WILL CHEAT ON YOU”.

49. QUESTION:
    Should I abandon my wife after finding a more compatible woman?
    I have been married to my wife for a few years. I always thought that I couldn’t find anyone better than my wife in this world until I met another woman a few months ago. I still love my wife but find this woman more compatible with me. In fact, she’s kind of in the same boat. She is married to her husband and still loves him, but she considers me better and more compatible with her. We share a lot of common interests and always look at things from very similar prospectives. For example, we both do not believe in marriage “till death do us part” unless you can’t discover a better person for you throughout life, changing spouses is kind of like changing jobs, nobody would disagree that if you discover a better job for yourself, even if you don’t hate your current job, it’s ok to change jobs and keep changing for a better job throughout life, why can’t we use the same reason to keep changing spouses throughout life? If I marry this woman and again discover someone better a few years later, then I just divorce her and marry the other woman and so on. My current wife, my whole family and I bet lots of people do not agree with this thought but they have not yet given me a good reason why it’s ok to change jobs but not spouses if it’s better? Are there really any downsides if I divorce my wife and marry this woman, and another woman if I again find someone better later in life, except I did make stupid wedding vows to love my wife till death. Now that I learned a lesson and realized I made this mistake in the past, I want to break this promise to my wife and promise never to promise something like that again and write my own marriage vows to love a woman as long as I can’t discover a better woman. What do you think?

    • ANSWER:
      You met this “other woman” JUST a few months ago and you think she’s more compatible? People tend to be on their best behavior in the beginning phases of any romantic relationship. So it’s possible what you’re seeing in her may not be entirely who she really is. And to risk your marriage for someone you married for love, have some history with, probably having seen her in her less flattering moments and know her for who she really is, does not sound like the wisest thing to do.

      Instead, if you really love your wife, talk to her and see where things went wrong. Its amazing what a little knowledge and communication will do. Your past does not equal your future with her. People can and do change given sufficient reason. Just don’t do anything you MIGHT come to regret later on.

50. QUESTION:
    How is my Maid of Honor speech?
    I’m the maid of honor (16) for my sister’s wedding (she is 24) my twin sister, Tricia, wanted me to do the speech so here it is. Oh, the reference to the chocolate is because everybody has one at their table. I asked this earlier and got good advice but I revised it a little and still need help. Is there anything I should add, remove, or redo?

    For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Kimberly, Alicia’s sister and Casey’s new sister-in-law. For those of you who do know me, I would gladly take all those chocolates off your hands. Anyways, I want to start out by saying thank you all for coming. It really means a lot that you’re spending this special day with the bride and groom.
    To put it bluntly, Casey and Alicia were made to be together. I love you guys so much and I’m so happy for the both of you. I know you’re going to have a great and adventurous life together for decades to come. I’m well aware that this is going to sound cheesy, but your happiness is like a pebble falling into water. Your happiness together ripples out to everyone around you.
    Now, I have known Casey for some years now, but if it weren’t for our traditional Sunday night dinners my dad makes every week then I would have never gotten to know Casey as well as I have. He’s such an easy going, laid back person who still knows how to have a good time- as you all will see tonight when he breaks out his awesome dance moves.
    And Alicia. Let me just begin by saying you look beautiful in your dress. I couldn’t ask for a better big sister- and Tricia you know what I mean. Alicia, you guided the both of us through the tough times in life like when it came to shaving our legs, for example. I remember you couldn’t stress enough to start with the razor at the bottom of our shins and shave up- not down! Thanks to you I avoided a lot of razor burns. You also helped us with our hair and make up and if it weren’t for you I probably would have ended up going to homecoming looking like Amy Whinehouse. Nobody could explain the life of a girl better than you could. You have always been there for Tricia and I and I know you always will be, just now Casey is in the picture. If you feel left out from our girl talk, Casey, then you can throw in some advice about my hair, too, if you want.
    I know it’s normal and healthy for you to fight. In fact, knock yourself out when necessary, but Casey, a word from the wise. Don’t try wrestling Alicia because she will win that fight. I know from experience.
    If you want some useful advice then it would have to be to forgive and forget, don’t take life too seriously, and love each other with all your heart. I know there’s nothing you two can’t handle.
    One last thing, just remember your wedding vows are non-refundable.
    So now, if you would all please raise your glasses so I can make a toast to my sister and her husband:

    • ANSWER:
      That’s absolutely beautiful. I about teared up reading that. Don’t change a thing. Your sister will love it.